The Project: Health Wellness and Psychology

Live From the Volvo Showroom in Kuwait With Mahdi, Haya and Dr.D Discussing Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder (SAD), Running the Number one Podcast in The MENA Region and Talking to Our Fans

January 21, 2021 Mahdi Al Oun, Dr.Juliet Dinkha, Haya AlQassar Season 1 Episode 217
The Project: Health Wellness and Psychology
Live From the Volvo Showroom in Kuwait With Mahdi, Haya and Dr.D Discussing Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder (SAD), Running the Number one Podcast in The MENA Region and Talking to Our Fans
Chapters
The Project: Health Wellness and Psychology
Live From the Volvo Showroom in Kuwait With Mahdi, Haya and Dr.D Discussing Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder (SAD), Running the Number one Podcast in The MENA Region and Talking to Our Fans
Jan 21, 2021 Season 1 Episode 217
Mahdi Al Oun, Dr.Juliet Dinkha, Haya AlQassar

In This episode we are live from the Volvo showroom in Kuwait talking to you the fans who make this all happen in our annual live event!

Support the show (https://www.instagram.com/p/Bl8NPB2H4Mf/?igshid=1m9w8d28oarlu&utm_source=fb_www_attr)

Show Notes Transcript

In This episode we are live from the Volvo showroom in Kuwait talking to you the fans who make this all happen in our annual live event!

Support the show (https://www.instagram.com/p/Bl8NPB2H4Mf/?igshid=1m9w8d28oarlu&utm_source=fb_www_attr)

 

Episode - Volvo Live Event

Thu, 1/21 7:58AM • 52:26

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

people, thinks, crossfit, moving, feel, nice, wellness, walks, year, weight, class, life, disappointed, expectation, disappointment, realistic, barbells, doctor, psychology, health

 

00:00

You're now listening to the project to project to the project, where we stop at nothing to bring you the right backs on health, fitness and psychology, featuring some of the world's most experienced professionals. So you can learn and play with your hosts make dirty and messy. Hey, everybody, welcome to this episode of the project and we are coming to you live from the Volvo showroom here in Kuwait. We'd like to give a big thank you to the guys over at Volvo for hosting us here in this amazing venue. Check out these awesome cars over here. Thank you guys at Volvo we really appreciate it and enjoy the show. All this and more in today's episode. Would you guys like to hear Dr. Dinka saying, to be fair when you guys do listen to our show a lot of our episodes, you'll hear me breakout song at the beginning of an episode. And that breaks breaks the ice a little bit. All right. So since it's a psychology themed thing, I think dr. D should sing the song I feel pretty. Who knows that song? Will you sing it for us? Who can get us started here? You get excited?

 

01:08

Nobody thinks here.

 

01:12

Oh, so pretty. And so Woody, come on. What's going on? And I pity any girl who isn't me today.

 

01:24

Is that right? Yeah, that's

 

01:26

it. That's a song right? Yeah.

 

01:28

All right. So who's seen the movie? who's seen one person? Yeah, anger management. There we go. That's what I'm talking about. Okay. My 90s crowd is here now. All right, you guys are in trouble. So let's start this off real quick. What? HBO series popularized psychology in the 90s. Whoever answers this question gets a T shirt. Well, yeah, we got a winner over there.

 

01:56

Yay.

 

01:59

Here you go, buddy. So we're the project, health, wellness and psychology podcast. We are available on all of your major streaming platforms. The show is run by me Dr. De heya. mag, who's also in the United States. We have two episodes a week one is centered around fitness and the other one is on psychology. That's right. Something dr. D is very good at and I chime in every now and then. With some uses of

 

02:27

a lot of knowledge. I taught you a lot of stuff. Yeah, you definitely did. You still remember it?

 

02:31

She learned a lot too. And the drugs people and problems class?

 

02:35

I did. Yeah. What closer, but that was with Dr. Khan. Yes.

 

02:40

Yes. That's right.

 

02:42

sensation seeking behavior. You gotta get

 

02:45

substance abuse class.

 

02:46

Yes. Yeah. No, the

 

02:48

one thing I remember is the roller coaster thing about how why people like roller coasters. It's the fear of death without the actual death part. Yeah.

 

02:59

So how's COVID for everybody right now in terms of mental health. I mean, you got a free psychologist right now. free service.

 

03:06

Who wants to tell me their feelings? You guys tired of COVID? Yeah. But has it been positive for some people? Yeah. In which way has it been positive? more sleep? Sleep. Did you say sleep? Well, I still don't sleep. What else could have? How has COVID-19 been positive? more time in family? I agree with that. What else? Why don't you guys come here? I can't hear you. Come. You don't need to stand.

 

03:38

Okay, I know he's shy.

 

03:40

Oh, he's come come so we can hear you with the mask. Kind of like it's difficult. More savings, which we're spending now. By the way. It was nice, but now it's gone. That's true. What else? How else has COVID been nice? No school. At least I don't have to drive my kids to school. That's been a amazing feeling. What else? Oh, watching a lot of movies. Netflix made a lot of money. Yeah. And TV shows to catch up on everything. But now we're bored. We don't have anything new.

 

04:14

Right? Do you guys think it's reshaped your behavior coming back out into public? Who's who's again? I'll ask the question. who's scared here? Nobody just me. Why did everyone get a swab? Did everyone get a swab before they came here? Why are you scared? I'm anxious. Why are you anxious? Like I get anxious. Now. She She can attest to this. I freak out. Really? Yeah, like my hand sanitizer. I'm almost crying.

 

04:37

Poor DJ. No, no, it's true. Yeah, but what are you worried about? Well,

 

04:41

I mean, we all know that we put these fears in our head, and we assume things and I'm just worried about picking something up and not cleaning my hands and then touching my nose or touching my eye and just that fear of contracting an illness that I am unaware of the unaware scared And it just it freaks me out.

 

05:02

I get anxious about it. They're unpredictable or unknown. Yeah. But if you if you exercise social distancing, you wear your mask, there's nothing to worry about. Well,

 

05:12

I mean, tell that to me when I'm in the avenues.

 

05:15

I haven't been to the avenues. The only place I don't want to go. Maybe it's my own anxiety, huh? Nobody. I don't have an anxiety about that. I just don't feel like I need to be in the avenues makes I don't want to be in a smaller place. Yeah.

 

05:28

Who's been to the avenues here?

 

05:30

All of you. Oh, my God. How many have been to the avenues in the afternoon? Is it crowded? Yes. Now, what do you do? How do you stay away from people? Makes with everyone whatever happens happens.

 

05:43

That's really the safest thing to do. Who knows what a hypochondriac is? This is this is a psychological term here. It is what a hypochondriac is.

 

05:54

That's right. When you're obsessed about illnesses.

 

05:57

My wife's right here asked her if I'm a hypochondriac. Yeah. So do you think it's a bad thing? Or a good thing? bad thing? Yes,

 

06:04

yes, yes.

 

06:05

But isn't there a silver lining where it could be a good thing? Because you are overcautious? Hey, I'm trying to justify right now. All right.

 

06:13

You can't be hypochondriac it'd be a good thing. It's a diagnosis in the DSM five. Not a good thing. No,

 

06:20

I got a lot of diagnosis in the DSM

 

06:22

five. But I mean, think about it, why is hypochondriac not a good thing? It can get out of hand, right? And then he gets really obsessed about different disorders. And then they, you know, I have these patients that like will go from a doctor to a doctor, to a lab and a lab. I mean, some people like spent so much money getting different lab results, and you know, test results. And then the person says, there's nothing wrong with you, they'll go to another doctor because they think this doctor doesn't know what they're talking about. And can you imagine living like that? How would that feel like thinking like, every time somebody says, there's something wrong with them, then you feel like there's something wrong with me also, just living in that anxiety? You know, it's not healthy at all. So you need to quit your hypochondria?

 

07:07

Well, she gets me She keeps me in check all that stuff. So

 

07:09

Oh, yeah. What do you do? Hey, I

 

07:11

don't respond.

 

07:14

Actually, to be fair, she just tells me to go home.

 

07:18

Because also part of that behavior. It's also attention seeking. Yeah. So if you don't feed into it, whoa.

 

07:26

Oh, bird.

 

07:31

Not necessarily with you.

 

07:33

So are you my wife? Are

 

07:36

you just throwing me under the bus?

 

07:38

I did not specifically said to you, if you are projected.

 

07:41

attention seeking behavior. Anyone

 

07:43

who thinks Hey, just dissed me? Raise your hand. Yep, there we go. Yes. There we go. She said I was

 

07:50

you invited me to be on this panel? This is

 

07:54

you did. Moving on dr. D. Now, just joke. But no, she's right. Oh, it's true. It is a true statement. And it's one of those things. Personally, it's not attention seeking for me. Because when there is something wrong, I don't go to the doctor. Yeah. And she knows

 

08:12

that. See, that's where the treatment happens. Like when you feel like something is wrong with you don't go to the doctor, unless it's really good, severe, because this is what happens then as soon as you go to the doctor, then it feeds into that cycle again, the obsession, I need to go to the doctor, I go to the doctor, then I'm okay. And then again, another person says, I have something wrong with me. There's a, you know, a bump, a scratch, a cough. And the more you go to the doctor, the more it becomes a problem. So don't go to the doctor, because it's enabling and don't give him exactly it's enabling and don't give him attention. So you're fine. Sorry. Now, we just cured you. I'm

 

08:47

not an enabler, sir, clarified.

 

08:50

So when you do listen to the show on the app, you will realize dr. D is a psychoanalyzing me most of the time to go along with everybody else. But also don't Google things. I think googling Drax is really bad. It's something once you go down that rabbit hole, you know, all of a sudden, you know, 20 minutes later, you're like, Oh my god, I'm gonna die. When in reality, you didn't seek medical attention, you didn't get the proper test done. And you just go down that rabbit hole of Google and it just can be really bad. And I think we've all been there.

 

09:23

I mean, Google can have good benefit, like if you're trying to search for something to understand, but with people I work with, like, so you'll give them for example, they have a medication, and then they'll go Google it. And then of course, you know, pharmaceutical companies wants to be comfortable and they want to make sure that they cover all their aspects of there are going to be you know, point 1% of person that can have certain side effects from medication and, and then that point 1% the person kind of like researches it and it comes and says, Oh my god, it says I'm going to do have this I'm going to have this it's addictive, especially with psychotropic medications, right? And then that's when I say stop googling, you can't research this stuff because you're not a medical person you don't understand. And actually even panadol, if you research it, there is a point 1% that says, you can be addicted to it, it can give you some side effect, actually, it can also have an effect on your liver. So the idea is, is that anything you can Google, you'll find some sort of a side effect. But people get really obsessed with this Google thing that I feel like we need to stop, we should use it not everything is black and white. There should be some moderation, you should get the information. But at the same time, I don't think you need to research everything. It's if you can get become obsessed, you know, a headache, you get a headache, you Google, why do I have a headache? It can give you a lot of reasons why you have a headache, which might not be why you haven't had it.

 

10:51

Right now, medicine is showing us the best medicine is through movement, taking care of our bodies, and just overall health and well being with COVID. And what dr. D was talking about the benefits, who actually like who tried to start some new movement strategy during the lockdown? Anyone?

 

11:10

Yeah, I mean, I started off with like, different programs with, like, physical movements. And I felt like they they ultimately they change your perspective on sorts of things. Like if you were going out and you feel anxious, for example, like you said, when you were scared to be in public places, because of COVID. I found that like, moving around constantly throughout the day, and having like a set time where you would work out and stuff. It would decrease the level of anxiety that you're feeling. Overall, your relationships with other people also tend to get better. But that was a huge difference. I

 

11:46

know that's true. I mean, movement does release endorphins makes us feel better, and makes us feel more confident. Who else who else would towards the movement exercise strategy during the lockdown? Because let's face it, it's really easy to say, Okay, I'm in lockdown. I can sit on a chair all day and watch, you know, friends reruns for the next two or three weeks. So who chose friends reruns? And who chose running around outside? Or well, around the perimeter of their house? But a mixture of both? Yeah, yeah. That was probably that was probably for the better part of most of us. But who went out for walks during the one hour? Like release time?

 

12:27

I did. Yeah.

 

12:29

Yeah. Who saw the benefit in that? who enjoyed it? I see other people during like, was more about Yeah, seeing other people's actual walking is get tired of as she got tired of seeing me every day. didn't stop her from going on walks. It was just nice to like, everyone walk even before this year, I would never go out on walks here. My entire movement was like either in the gym or sports. But I saw so many people walking that never walk or Who else wants to share a little story about their walks. I mean, for instance, I taught my son how to ride a bike during our walks. I loved it. I love that time. Who else? crickets, more crickets, kickboxing, and Muay Thai as a family. Okay, which one of your brothers did you kill first?

 

13:22

Actually, that reminds me the other day I was driving by where, you know, we were walking. And I kind of missed that. Because now there's cars everywhere, right? And then nobody's walking anymore. And in a way, I feel like it was so nice to not have anybody drive. Everyone was walking, life was simpler. And we were able to, you know, discover different areas in my neighborhood at least, like there were things like I never would have realized if I wasn't forced to walk for two hours instead of driving. So the other day I was thinking, Oh, you know, I really missed those times where we had two hours where you walked, you saw everyone else walking things, you know. And now like, no one's walking and no one walks in the neighborhood, except like one person, she's still walking. But he's like, it's so sad in a way because now we're like back to that like, rush live where we're rushing from one place to another to do this to do that. And at that time, I felt like it was so simple. You know, I taught online and then I put my gym shoes on, I took my kids and we walked and and you can walk in the street, you don't have to worry about your kids crossing is there is nobody else driving and and you finally get to meet your neighbor that you know, you'll hardly ever meet now. So in a way I kind of miss it, that you

 

14:37

were talking about slowing down and I know during COVID everyone was talking about how it's nice to kind of press that pause button. So I want to know, Did any of you take that and implemented into your lives now, pressing that pause button or spending more time with your family or slowing down a little bit or went straight back into it? It's so sad

 

15:01

It was nice to have a pause. It's nice to not run and be committed. I was nice to like wake up and not have any other commitment except my classes. Or my clients. I don't know. I feel sad that we have to go back so quickly. Yeah. So in a way COVID was nice for me because I felt like it calmed me down. And because you know, I work many jobs, if you know anything about me, and I everywhere, of course, I have that teaching. And then I have the clinic. And then I have consulting. I feel like I didn't even see my kids and suddenly was so nice for someone to force me to have that pause. And I now feel like we're going back again.

 

15:40

It's so easy to get back into that cycle, though. Yeah, because as soon as like, we're out, there's almost this pressure to keep going and moving and not stopping. And COVID was a nice excuse. But now that everything's open again, there's almost a guilt if you slow down again. And that's stopping people from taking that break.

 

16:03

But I mean, if you learn something from it, for instance, I learned that I enjoy spending time with my son more. And I still try to practice our morning walks every morning, even if it's for 1015 minutes. You know, these are the small things that I appreciated about COVID that it taught me to slow down and try to continue that mentality. And much of that even goes to my fitness life and my wellness life and how I deal with myself. And I think right now we're heading into, like, you know, the tougher time of the year, dr. D, we were talking about this the other day, where it's, you know, it's the season, it's winter, days are shorter, it's a little bit tougher on the bones, if you're a little bit older, especially working out feel like everything's breaking, you're tired all the time. So has the weather shifted anyone else's mentality? in here? Show of hands? Anyone? Yeah.

 

16:54

Do any of you like feel like you don't want to do anything in the winter? Like, it's it's cold, right? And you feel like you don't want to get up in the morning, you feel like you don't have the energy. And when you go to bed, you're freezing and your body is like a box, right? And so do you guys notice that you have a mood change? When it's winter versus summer? How many of you like winter, though? How many of you do not like winter? Yeah. When we say you don't like winter? What is it? I don't like about it? It's cold. What else gets dark early? That's right. So our melatonin gets decreased, right? Do you ever like feel like sad, we feel like, no energy, you don't want to see anyone we want to hibernate in the house takes energy to put clothes on, get excited about any events. And so if you do I mean, it doesn't mean you know, there's a lot of other symptoms, but we call that it's part of depression, but it's called, you know, seasonal affective disorder where people only get depressed starting in the fall until March, which is the spring, and then they feel very happy after March until September, October, and then October, their mood starts to decrease, where they just, you know, feel depressed and feel like they are, you know, don't feel like motivated to do anything. So I mean, depression, I don't know, a lot of people talk about depression as of like, I mean, a lot of people throw the word depression around, like, you know, I'm depressed. But technically, you have to meet certain criteria to be depressed. But there are people that are just depressed during winter time and not during summertime. And so if you're one of those people that I mean, it doesn't mean that you are but if your energy gets lower, you want to sleep more, you lose interest in a lot of activities, you know, during the winter, then you're probably feeling the same thing as people that you know, have the seasonal affective disorder. So the sunlight affects it. That's why when people have seasonal affective disorder, there's a V light that they use during the winter so that way they can replace the melatonin. So the idea is, is that because it's getting darker, too, we're not getting as much as serotonin increased, melatonin increases. So that's what makes them more depressed, so has a lot to do with the sunlight. And it has a lot to do with the happy hormone or whatever you guys call it norepinephrine, and serotonin, so they're not activated as much. And light really activates a lot of our happy hormones. So the less it is, and if you have genetic, like if you're already genetically inclined to be depressed because it's in your family, you know, people that have genetic depression, then they could actually have a seasonal women after babies they can have postpartum so they're more at risk and no sunlight. That's why one of the way to treat that, like the seasonal depression is, is to have a light there's a certain light you can order. A lot of our patient have to be on it, you know, at least an hour a day, so they can replace some of that light missing the light.

 

19:52

I wonder what the Beate the behavioral therapist over there has to say about all this. She's done a stint with psychology. In the States, I'm gonna call her out. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. jumping over here. Oh, we left a chair open. We left it. Yeah, it's got your name all over it. Are you shy? Are you suffering from sad? I think you are. Are you not feeling motivated right now?

 

20:19

Let the therapist speak.

 

20:21

I think she's shy.

 

20:24

Sorry. You could chime in. You're smart.

 

20:26

Yeah. Tell me.

 

20:28

I'm curious what your take is on what we're talking about.

 

20:31

Seasonal Affective.

 

20:32

Yeah. Seasonal Affective Disorder.

 

20:35

See? Practicing behavioral therapist. Okay. And to DC people are depressed or what kind of, or you work with children stay that way. Adults are complicated.

 

20:48

She's absolutely amazing, by the way.

 

20:49

Oh, well. I'm sure he's promoting you. Yeah. Oh, it isn't publicity style. He's doing well. And you haven't changed his behavior? Wow. Look, I've been trying since 2006. When did I meet him? Didn't work. And then I decided I'll just join why change? Be a you know, what was the same? You know? We all did. We were happy. Hey, I said yes. She was at a UK the same time. And I said, Thank you so much. This is much needed. Yeah, you weren't the only one. But we love him. You know, we can't live without Matthew.

 

21:40

I know. Everybody loves me. But that's all good. Real quick question, though. For everybody here, who thinks psychologies become more mainstream in Kuwait? Yes, please, who thinks it's okay to say, Hey, I'm seeing a therapist right now. Is that stigma still there?

 

21:56

I've seen an increase in my caseload actually, since COVID. And a lot of times people are either feeling lonely or worried about, you know, having Corona or, you know, losing people for and also that that grief. Remember, the idea is, is that you griefing the ability to be out. So when suddenly we're not able to see our friends or family and we're locked in the house. That's a lot of, you know, grief, you know, that's a loss. It's true. But you know, people become more educated. Do you guys still think it's stigma to go to a psychologist? No. If you need to go to psychologists, would you guys go? Yeah. And now you can do it online, no one will know you're doing it, you know, before people like, Oh, I don't want to come to the office, I might see someone that knows me. And now most people are using the service. You know, we have this telehealth now, apps that we could do, I'm in sabeti. So and it's nice. People can book online. And actually, it's it is for all doctors, so you can like book online and you can consult with an art you know, and a doctor or you can consult with a therapist, a psychologist, whatever you want, and no one will know because it's like, very private, and no one you know, you could be in your room talking to me, and no one would know that or any other doctor. So I'm glad that we haven't. We're sophisticated in that area, just in case people feel leery about coming to the office.

 

23:17

When we move into 2021, who thinks it's gonna be a good year? Who's ready to see some aliens? Come on? Do you see some aliens? I know, we're all ready for that one here that are like an atomic bomb something. I don't know. Someone said it can't get any worse. I looked at him. I was like, Dude, don't say that. Do not say those words right now. Because I think it can. But moving into the new year, you know, we're all luckily right now the gyms are have reopened. You know, we got life rolling again, who's looking at, you know, the positive 2021 the positive side of it, who's starting to formulate some, you know, wellness goals? You know, let's not let's not call it. I want to get skinny and look like the person in the magazine. Because no, there are a bunch of drugs and plastic surgery, the only thing you might learn in genetics and all that stuff, but who has realistic, attainable goals? And you know, I can throw it to the HR specialist down there. I mean, he probably knows about performance key performance indicators. But in general, though, who's ready to start the new year off? Right? From a wellness perspective? What's one wellness thing you're aiming to do in 2021? You thought of that at all? Such a broad question, right? There's so many different aspects.

 

24:33

Well, have you guys thought about 2021? I mean, it's only like, a couple more days. No, you don't want to think about it. No, this time you're not thinking about it. So you've learned a lesson from 2020. So why prepare for anything? Sounds like good idea. Huh? So 2021 yesterday, my my son is in boarding High School. So yesterday, he while we were on FaceTime So he showed me that he and his cousins were working on this vision board. I was like, Oh, that's nice. I'm glad that like, you know, you're 15. And you're thinking about vision board. And he had like pictures of things that he's going to try to work on for 2021. It's nice. None of them said he was going to lose weight. But so he was like, I'm going to be a better person and have more friends. I want to have this style of clothing. What else? Some stuff were expensive for moms. I said, we need to remove it. And I'm going to travel. He said, I'm like, Well, great. I'm glad you're traveling. Who's paying? You know? So I was like, What? It was nice. I think we should all have a vision board. Yeah. He's 15. And he had one. And then he said, Mom, do you have one? I said, No, I'm just happy. We're going into 2021.

 

25:48

Who's circling their ideas of wellness around weight? Who thinks weight is an indication of good health? weight? weight, like your body weight? Who thinks body weight is indication of good health? Does anyone Okay, if you're not over the age of 30, do not follow me on Instagram. Get that out there. Okay. And if you are with any of the brands that I've just in the last two years, I'm sorry. Okay. But no, in general, I just want to put it out there that when we do set our wellness goals, or our health and wellness goals for the coming year, we have to be realistic. And we have to know that weight is not the single and most important indication that we are healthy individuals. And now we are leading a healthy lifestyle, you can see some skinny people that are leading a very unhealthy lifestyle. And they are doing everything in the book that is almost wrong by indications of health by consuming of, you know, 800 calories per day, and taking diet pills and doing all these weird, crazy things that you see on social media and in magazines. That's not health. Health is a very well rounded approach to your day to day life from sleep, food, mobility, and just moving better and thinking of it's not how I look. But what I can do my line I stole from it. Like she can lift about 350 pounds off the ground like 160 kilos off the ground, quite strongest woman right here, hands down, she's she has several records and Battle of the East, she has broken her left arm in two different places. And she has rehabbed herself back in less than a year, and is competing in two weeks. And she is like the perfect example of what your body can do and the fitness level that we should try to strive to get to so that we can be capable of leading a healthy life well into our 60s and 70s.

 

27:56

But that's it. I think the goal here isn't necessarily I want to look a certain way. But I want to move a certain way. I want to be able to go up and down the stairs comfortably when I'm 80 I want to be able to get up and down chair when I'm older. This isn't looking a certain way, it's making sure that your bones and your joints and your muscles will help you move when you're older. So you're not scared. If you fall, you're gonna break your hip because you know that you've built it enough to hold you.

 

28:29

And for women, it's more important because you guys are more prone to osteoporosis. Yeah,

 

28:33

women lose bone density at a much higher rate than men, but strength training increases your bone density.

 

28:39

She is a trainer and she offers a class called booty and barbell. Okay,

 

28:45

I teach you how to squat deadlift, and

 

28:48

she wanted women to feel empowered by holding a barbell. But when you give them a barbell, they get scared, and they don't want they say we don't want to get bulky. But in reality, our genetic genetic makeup between a female and a male is completely different. And she did a really smart thing by saying booty and barbells because no offense ladies, everyone's like oh, booty, Okay, I'm gonna jump on that train. No, barbells and barbells. So yeah, I'm gonna stop there. quick exercise, think of one aspect of your lifestyle right now that you want to change in 2021. From a health perspective, think of one aspect one small thing whether it's tying your shoes so your lower back doesn't hurt or reaching up above your head and getting your arms to extend fully up. Think of one aspect that you want to work on for 2021 All right, take a minute Think about that. And let's share Alright, little less than a minute. Okay, too quiet for me. Who's got something?

 

29:51

Good, you guys sodas. Okay. Do you want to stop drinking soda?

 

29:56

So as Meg would say, Don't cut something out. Think again? Yeah. So a good thing is instead of programming your mind to say, I need to stop drinking ABC and D, reprogram saying, I'm just going to drink more water to your mind is thinking more instead of less? Yeah, it's

 

30:14

a good one. Yeah.

 

30:19

Anyone else?

 

30:19

Something that they want to change?

 

30:21

Well, you could say I want to lose weight I want to tone up. Those are the number one questions I always get asked as a trainers coach, how do I tone up? Well, you know, there's a lot that goes into that. You know, it's why do you want to tone up? What do you want to do to get there? If you want to look like the guy in the magazine? Well, it's really difficult. You know, if you want to run better increase, you know, your capacity and your endurance, well, that's easy. You just have to be consistent, be consistent at what is it go to the gym on January 1, and say, Alright, you know, I'm gonna do this whole health thing. I'm gonna go do a CrossFit class. You go do CrossFit, for the first time you get the wrong trainer, you go and you run five kilometers, guess what? You're gonna hurt the next day. And you think you're gonna go and do it again. All right, now flip it to, I want to get healthier. I want to increase my vo to Max, I want to do this my conditioning everything. I'm going to take a walk around the neighborhood on January 1, which one? Are you more likely to do more consistently for the rest of that month? Doing the five k run every day or walk around the block and then slowly increasing it? To be fair, it's not just CrossFit out there, guys. I mean, who's familiar with CrossFit? Does anyone know what it is? Okay, anyone else? All right. If you try CrossFit, you will not get hurt. Okay, I just want to put that out there because you'll hear that, but it's not just CrossFit. There's f 45. There is yoga, there's Pilates, there's

 

31:49

booty and barbells,

 

31:50

booty and barbells. Do you offer that class to guys too?

 

31:54

I can I can teach anybody the foundations of ball work.

 

31:58

We're about booty work. I want the booty

 

32:02

booty with strong legs.

 

32:03

Don't underestimate. But the point is, is not to be dogmatic about one thing out there. And a lot of the fitness industry when we get into a fitness modality, sometimes we dive deep down that rabbit hole, we always stay with that where it's only calisthenics, I was guilty of this, you know, I'll come out and say the beauty about the project is I have talked to professionals from all over the world. And it has changed my perspective. And now I'm more open to listen to any like if you say bodybuilding, I'll say yeah, bodybuilding is great if you're looking for like hypertrophy, or whatever, or F 45. My cousin introduced me to that last year. And I think she was shocked when I said, Wow, that's actually pretty good. I like that, that sounds like something that's really fun. The thing is to find something that you're going to enjoy, and can be consistent about when you're leading into 2021. And setting those goals into a realistic perspective. And if your goal is weight loss, I mean, because 90 to 100% of us want that don't go for kilos a week. It's not one kilos a week, that's extremely difficult, go 4.25 a week, or even less, do it the healthy way. And this is coming from a guy that weighed 130 kilos at 120 kilos at one point, and I lost that weight and one, two years, two years, it took me to kind of take that weight off. Then I got into CrossFit. And that's where I was like, Alright, I love this as a sport, I want to be competitive. And my coach told me it's going to be a long, grueling process. And I did the boring stuff. I had small, small wins. So who thinks they could set a goal for small wins within the first two months of the year, so that they can stay consistent throughout the rest of the year? What's a small goal someone could share with us that they thought of right now that they can set for 2021 something small that they can achieve within a month, and that snowball for the rest of the year? Assuming the aliens don't eat us taking your pills. Okay? yoga twice a week. All right. Yoga is really good, but really difficult for people like me. Now, here's a question. How can you hold yourself accountable? Where's your level of accountability to yourself? results? How can we measure it? There we go. There we go. I'm guessing marketing. That's why I say it's marketing people the brains back there. Sorry, though this on HR. I am HR by the way I do human resources, but I'm not as good as that guy. He's marketing your HR as well. All right, yeah, they'll fire people. But yeah, I mean, if you if you do that, and you set those objectives, but what makes you feel accountable at the end of the day, like for me personally, after a workout, I do CrossFit competitively. after a workout if I go in the mirror and I'm disappointed in myself, I can't sleep. I'm tossing and turning You know, the man in the mirror? You guys ever measure yourself in that that way? Just out of curiosity? No. All right, who says yes, there we go. That's what I'm talking about right there throw a scale away.

 

35:11

One thing you said that was very make sense is like, I think people are not realistic. Like this is like a student who's getting a D, and says to me, how can I get an A, and we only have two more weeks left for a semester. That's not realistic, right. And not everyone is meant to get an A and not everyone is supposed to be a B person, we all have our own capabilities, not everyone is going to be a doctor, not everyone's going to be a lawyer, an engineer, we all have different skills, and we all have to be able to tap into that. So I think like New Year's resolution, like I never do them to be honest, just because I feel like, and I tell my clients never to do that. Because I feel like they're unrealistic. And a lot of times people put really high goal, like I'm gonna lose 50 pounds by I don't know what and it doesn't make sense. I think we need to be honest with ourselves. And I think a lot of people are not honest with themselves, we all want to be able to look like you know, that supermodel that's on TV, or a guy that has a six pack. And you know, I'm never going to be a size zero, genetically, I'm not going to be I love food too much. And I just realized, you know, all my life, I thought, Oh, I could just do it. And then I realized that doesn't make sense to me. And I have to be honest with myself. And I have to understand that these are my capabilities. So if more of you could be honest with yourself of the things that you really can do, instead of thinking of all the awesome things you can achieve, which you could sometimes later, but you know, just be realistic, and then you won't be disappointed. I think we put a lot of high standard for ourselves and other people. And we're constantly disappointed in life. And that's probably one of the biggest reason why people become depressed is that they're disappointed, they're disappointed at themselves. They're disappointed the people around them, because we have high expectation. And I usually tell people look, look at expectation as zero to five, five being high expectations, zero being none, you should stay between the one and two. That's it. So 012, that's expectation, you go up to five, you're risking, you're going to be disappointed, which in return makes you feel awful and terrible, and angry and frustrated. And then we're depressed again. So keep it that. So the same thing as you require that of people, you should do that yourself. So no, it doesn't make sense that I'm going to lose 20 kilos this year, I would love to, but I ain't going to happen. But I know that I could do five kilos a month or in two months or three months. I know my capability. Look, Maddie always wants me to go to the gym, which it should be a good idea. I mean, sometimes I asked him, so he says you should go to the gym, you would like it. And I say Maddie, look, I have to be honest with myself a I don't like gyms at all. And be I like to work out in the house, I have a trainer who comes works out, I finish, I take a shower, and then I see my students virtually, that's it's realistic for me, me going, taking my bad go into the gym, working out and then seeing someone I know, and then they want to ask me about their problem. I don't want that. And I'm you know, not that I'm private person. But I just like my time for me. And so it's realistic. So to go and you know, I could convince myself to do CrossFit. But I won't continue. I think we'll be realistic. And it's okay. You have to be honest with yourself, you have to realize that you are only capable of doing certain things, and then you'll be more successful.

 

38:30

It goes true to hate a sport. I think this is one of the most difficult sports, which is you know, powerlifting Well, I mean, look, it's difficult for them, but easy for crossfitters. Okay, we demolish the power lifters. All right, but no, she says she works all year to put half a kilo on additional on the bar. Some people will work three years to add their max weight, or their PR their personal best a quarter kilos. And you know, these are guys that have done it their whole lives.

 

39:04

But that's what all sports so you're always trying to get a little bit faster or a little more accuracy or there's always just small little adjustments you can make in sports or even in academia or whatever you're doing, like just what we're talking about. It's not these huge changes, you should be looking at what these small, incremental ones that are going to eventually add on and snowball into something else. That's what the focus should be on.

 

39:30

That's true. And I got a question for all the corporate people here tonight the guys that work in big companies who thinks the the goals that the organization sets for them are realistic throughout the year? Definitely not. All right, who doesn't think the goals that are set for them throughout the year are achievable things they overshoot things corporate or Yep, that we got one hand, come on marketing Really? Oh my god. There's so much pressure was put on me when I was in March. Marketing, it was all done by HR. HR would sign off on the KPIs. And the KPIs would be so unattainable like a 30% increase in sales. It's like, Dude, are you kidding me? Are you giving me like a 30%? Higher budget to deal with throughout the year? I mean, realistically, and that's gonna happen. In every corporation, it does happen. And even with classes, I mean, I'm sure you guys see Dr. dinko be like, Look, I want this standard. And you're like, that standard, so hard to achieve. Right? We all I

 

40:33

think, dude, and I don't have a standard for my students, I have standard for the quality of work that they got to do, which is like, you know, attainable. I think if they put some effort, I don't think that other people put high expectation on us, I think we put our high

 

40:46

expectation corporate usually puts really high expectations right over they

 

40:49

probably think they're attainable. If you're able to move beyond that disappointment and make it drive you. And I think it's true, I think we I mean, you know, I think about my life. And the reason I've become the person I've become because I was so disappointed in life many, many times, actually. And sometimes big ones, sometimes small ones. And it has made me a better person, and made me a strong person has created resiliency and me, I know there's nothing is going to happen to me that I can handle and because of my disappointments, but at the same time, I think that those disappointments I could have, maybe I should have just lowered them a little bit or dealt with them differently. But you're right. I think disappointment makes us better. It taps into our psychological immune system, which is the resiliency and therefore makes you stronger if you could do that. So I think background genes, personality traits really play a big role on the way we handle this appointment. But you're right, I don't think we're going to live life without disappointment. But I think it's not the disappointment we can avoid but how we deal with them. It's very important. How many of you have been disappointed in your life? I'm sure a lot of you, right. They're so terrible these disappointment, especially when it comes to like relationships where you're like really trusted someone and you love someone and then they disappointed you. Or like your parents disappointing you because they promised or they you thought that they were going to be a safe zone and they're not or your friends. They're not that it's an ugly feeling. But it happens, right?

 

42:15

Who gets disappointed in their bosses? Oh, sorry, you guys. Can you guys get I

 

42:21

can't answer that either.

 

42:22

Yeah, okay. Or you can't answer that. You

 

42:24

know? Of course not. She I'm not. She's my

 

42:26

boss. I get disappointed all the time. My feelings don't matter.

 

42:30

But no, it's honestly. I think when you're disappointed with your boss, what do you do then? Yeah, what do you do?

 

42:36

You do not want to ask me?

 

42:38

What did you do when you're disappointed at your boss? Like, get rid of your boss?

 

42:41

No, you just tell them straight up.

 

42:42

I'm disappointed. Are you gonna find he's gonna say he's gonna say whatever.

 

42:46

I got sent home a couple times, because he'll tell you but you're disappointed in it. Yeah. I told him what I thought. And you went home? No, he changed. Oh, did he change? Yeah, he stopped talking to me.

 

42:57

But he didn't change. You went home?

 

42:59

No, he sent me home. I know. He didn't talk to me.

 

43:02

Exactly. So it doesn't help to tell your boss you're disappointed in him. What you need to do is learn to deal with your boss's disappointment

 

43:10

ever. He's an idiot. Learn to deal with me. We all go through those moments. We're like walking away. We're like, oh, man, he's such an idiot. Trust me, he ain't listening to this. And it's and I have a new boss now. So he's cool. That's cool. If you're listening, yeah, man, you're awesome. Yeah, I mean it. But those are those are things that sometimes that I have done that other people won't do. Where if I truly believe in what I'm doing, I back it up 100%. And I move forward with it. And sometimes my management or my managers, they didn't like what I had to say they didn't like the reality of what I was saying. And they didn't like that the process was gonna take three months and not one month, which we all know sometimes is the case. And it's like everything in life. Now we want it's like,

 

44:05

but that's about managing expectations more than like managing disappointment. Yeah. Cuz then you're like you set up the conversation and set those boundaries and say that these are the expectations for everybody. And then you move from there,

 

44:19

like an evaluation. Well, you're in HR, right? do you evaluate people? I'm sure people have been disappointed at you. Me? Yeah. don't evaluate people. People hate me. Yeah. So I mean, even even at UK, for example, like my boss says, This is my expectation at the end of the year evaluation, like you should publish, you should do all these things. So I'm assuming well, academically, they're giving me expectation that within my academic realm I should be able to do so I already know from the beginning of the year, this is the standard now, if I don't do it, I don't get fired. Obviously, I still been there for 16 years later. But you know, it's nice to have a goal but the

 

44:56

rain down in the corporate world, you know, it's not So the idea at the top, it trickles all the way down. And by the time it gets down to you, it's something that's almost unrealistic to happen. And you know, sometimes it is realistic. But a lot of the times it's not realistic. And it's very difficult. And it leads to a lot of blood, sweat and tears. And then when you go into you ask for more of a budget, or you ask for more time or this or that says no, we're, you know, we need to meet q1 or q2. So managing those expectations. Sometimes you can manage your boss's expectations. But can you manage his boss's expectations? And his bosses? You know, I mean, for us for where I work, it's like, we don't see the upper tiers, you know, and sometimes you don't, but at the end of the day, like, sometimes you get to tell your boss what's up and fortunately for me, I haven't gotten fired yet. Come very good. Let's do it.

 

45:49

We got sent home sent homes. Okay, sent home is out of your class come I have many times. Oh, you want to tell them when I kicked you out twice,

 

45:57

twice out once was the cell phone?

 

46:00

You know, I kicked him out of my class. I was like, You know why? Yeah, go ahead. Tell them

 

46:06

what you already tell them when I was messaging her. And you took Yeah, exactly. I was messaging her because we're gonna go to subway.

 

46:13

Class, he's making plans.

 

46:15

I was setting up a lunch date. I was trying to get married. And then the second time, I almost got into a fistfight with my partner in a project, because he didn't do anything in the presentation.

 

46:30

And because of that, I have changed the guidelines for the presentation.

 

46:35

Because literally, I almost threw a haymaker at this guy here. Yes, she sent us both out of the class, into a class by ourselves, where we were this close to just going ham on each other. And it turned into me saying, Dude, look, I want to salvage whatever I can out of this grade, so just get out of my face. But I said it in a completely different way. You can imagine what I said, went back into the class, I delivered the presentation, he didn't deliver anything of that presentation, and Dr. Dinka still gave me the same exact grade she was gonna give me which was a C, which should have been in a and it was on the sopranos.

 

47:11

He's still harboring some anger issues.

 

47:14

100% years later, 100% that the the presentation was on the sopranos, it was the seagull or the pigeon flying away with Tony Soprano's private parts. Well, mail fallacy and you thought I

 

47:27

was gonna give you an A for that

 

47:29

presentation. It was on masculinity. Well, good. That's a good presentation. Yeah, there we go. That's what I'm talking about over there.

 

47:37

My students know I don't just give A's you got to earn A's. And those are hard to get. But you've learned a lot because of these experiments that I put you through?

 

47:48

Well, we are running one of the best fitness podcast health and wellness podcasts in the Middle East right now. And in Kuwait. That's right. You know, we're 200 episodes deep. We got many more coming out down the pipeline. And you know, it's it's we really appreciate you guys being a part of that right now. We really appreciate Bobo inviting us in here today to talk about men's mental health, something that's really not discussed in public. And that's what the project's all about. It's breaking these barriers, so that we can hopefully create a better society for everybody. That's right. Guys, clap. There we go. I got a coach IQ. I paid them just any questions, guys?

 

48:38

Any questions about psychology that I could answer?

 

48:41

fitness, health, wellness

 

48:43

2021?

 

48:44

How to Lose 50 pounds in two weeks?

 

48:47

How to not lose and gain weight? Does anyone ever put anything on their list like how to gain 20 kilos next year? Like I always want? Why is it always like they want to lose weight? Why is it never like I want to gain weight.

 

49:00

If you're a weightlifter or someone that struggles like they're there or something, it's called a hard gainer in the fitness industry, and there they exist. They just can't put on muscle mass. It's tough. It's really difficult. And at that point, sometimes you really just got to look at your exercise programming. If your program is off, and you're not doing the right exercises that complement your body. Sometimes that's going to set you back more than the food that you're eating. Should we tell everybody to go try CrossFit? Yeah, you guys should all give CrossFit a chance.

 

49:31

I've had more powerlifting a lot more fun. You get more rest?

 

49:34

I think powerlifting but CrossFit still exist.

 

49:37

Yes, yes, CrossFit exists. CrossFit will always exist as long as I could walk on my hands and better exist.

 

49:45

I thought it was a dying sport. See your knees, your knees will

 

49:49

because that comes into recovery. Yeah, if you're recovering well, you're already recovering. Oh no, my recovery lately has been horrible. First to say, but it's been a struggle when you go hardcore, you know, it catches up to you after a few months, you know, if you hit personal bests and prs and your weights keep climbing, eventually your body will put on its own brakes and say, Hey, stop, guys, you know, like, stop, like, this is it, let's wait, take 10 days off. And if you try and go back, you're just gonna get frustrated, you know, sometimes I stare at a barbell, and I'm like, I'm gonna cry, because I can't do this right now when I was doing it a week ago. But that's when you have to recalibrate your mindset. And go back to the basics. And three weeks later, you know what you're doing double the weight. So it's always about taking those small steps. Sometimes it's two steps forward, one step back, and it works. You know, sometimes it's one step forward, and you just keep moving along. But again, it depends on your genetics, your mindset, the time you allocate for these things, and what you're willing to put in for me, CrossFit, I do it competitively. So am I gonna do this my whole life now. It's not for health and wellness, the way I do CrossFit. Now, other people do CrossFit for health and wellness so they can move better, that I'm an advocate about. I'm an advocate about anything where it gets you moving, to be honest, you know, as long as you're moving, you're doing something right. And as long as you're moving some weight around, you're doing good things and I would advocate strong man. Has anyone tried strongman here? No moving heavy, weird objects. That to me translates more than going in and doing bicep curls. It's picking up big, you know, stone balls, Atlas balls, sandbags, yoke walks, overhead pressing. These are things that you'll do every day in life, and that actually carry over versus doing a bicep curl. You know when is everybody ever told you to curl the curl your grocery bag into the house? Not gonna happen off but Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Happy New. Thank you guys. Appreciate it. Thank

 

51:56

you.

 

52:00

Everyone who I owe money to you can just make it here for clapping. Thanks, guys.

 

52:05

Thank you. Thanks.

 

52:07

Oh, wait t shirt time. Thanks for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed it, please head over to iTunes to subscribe rate and leave a review. You can also find us on Instagram at the project. Thank you and join us next time