The Project: Kuwait

Psyched with Dr. D: 10 Myths About the Mind

February 04, 2020 The Project Kuwait Season 1 Episode 113
The Project: Kuwait
Psyched with Dr. D: 10 Myths About the Mind
The Project: Kuwait
Psyched with Dr. D: 10 Myths About the Mind
Feb 04, 2020 Season 1 Episode 113
The Project Kuwait
Show Notes Transcript

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spk_1:   0:00
you're now listening to the Project Kuwait Project Green Project where we stop it. Nothing to bring you the right backs on health, fitness and psychology featuring some of the world's most experienced professionals. So you can learn and play with your host. Make Dr D and D 10 mess awesome on the mind,

spk_0:   0:24
and you will be very, very surprised. You gotta listen to this episode because I was surprised at some of those information. Very true. Very productive.

spk_1:   0:34
It was. And it was out of psychology today. They wrote 10 myths about the mind. It was a pretty good article. Good Read by the way. And yeah, I think you broke it down pretty well. Dr. D.

spk_0:   0:43
And I think those 10 things really I mean, expanded other ways. I'm sure that other people also feel So if you are interested in under realizing what are the 10 myths? How did rethink about it? Did I agree or not agree? Sexual addiction, sexual addiction. Does it really exist? Way don't agree for one digital, because grief is a big, important thing that a lot of people have been

spk_1:   1:05
exciting left brain, right brain. That's right. And what was the other one left brain right brain. We had visual auditory were intelligent, right? So there were some really good things in there that you would be surprised that our mess in that are true. And I think we came to the same conclusion that we really don't know that much about the human body. And as it continues to develop, and at the end of the episode, we get into dealing with grief. We talk about my grief a little bit and my grief Dr D's in my situation in front of my son the other day, and then we're going to have a contest. So make sure you stay tuned on Instagram because it's between me and Dr D and vote for Maddie for. And don't forget to leave a rating a review. All this and more in today's episode, I can't find number two Dr D. We're on, but I do this all the time.

spk_0:   1:54
Don't do this. I love having, you know, preparing me. And I just like we're on

spk_1:   1:58
already looked at it. I know I like when you're unprepared. You're a lot more relaxed. More fun. Yeah, you are. You're actually a lot more fun.

spk_0:   2:05
I mean, it was just saying about my videos. That is like, you know, they're scripted, scripted every Just be honest, but they're not script it, But I'm being honest with you. It's It's I get a different doctor D here. Of course, there's only two of everything.

spk_1:   2:20
Like like a lot of people say that too. Well, not a lot of people, but the people who know us and know the show, Yeah, they're like, Yeah, they're like, It's so weird watching her instagram versus listening to her and watching her on the project. Kuwait. Yeah, it's almost like she's a completely different person. Yeah.

spk_0:   2:36
Yeah, here's just relaxed, see? And it's fun. And it has it. Yes, it's my 34 people in front of me. They're trying to judge you, you know? I mean, they're saying they're not judging you, but you're like the expert and they're doing this show on

spk_1:   2:51
me. But do you care?

spk_0:   2:53
Well, I say I don't care, but obviously I care. I wouldn't be script. Really? Yeah. Not that I care. They're gonna say something about me, but maybe I care about the way it comes out. I don't know. Something must be See, I never carry. We have to care. Sometimes you can't like live life without caring about anything

spk_1:   3:12
When I look at it, in retrospect, I'm like, OK, does this person really give a crap about what I look like? What I'm wearing, what I'm doing or my actions? Okay, The most they're going to do is talk about it for 15 minutes with their bodies or whatever. But at the end of the day, if I'm comfortable in my own setting, that's all that matters. The only time I do care is when I have a conversation with someone and I think I said something stupid that may have offended them. That's when I actually care. And it's more guilt than anything else. So

spk_0:   3:39
I don't know. I think people have over over using this idea. I don't care who cares about what people think about me. I think it's all B s because if that's true, then why is it that we're constantly catering our instagram so that way other people might like it and and why do we whenever we're in front of other people doing presentation, I have to be a certain way and Why is it that when I'm meeting with my students, I'm different? And when I'm here different, I mean, somehow unconsciously, I must care, because I say I don't care. I say that. I mean, even the guys on to you is like, you know, you're the expert here who's going to know what you're doing or not doing, but still So you like? Yeah, Yeah, yeah, you're right. But still there, My every eye level off I care.

spk_1:   4:21
But at the end of the day, when you put it out on TV, like if another psychologist, easier than there. Like she has no one, you know, like that. That's where you need. But you don't need to worry, cause you know your shit, If you know.

spk_0:   4:32
I mean, I don't think I'm worried about my information. I think that, you know, loving you say

spk_1:   4:36
information, I say, You know, he

spk_0:   4:37
just said, I think it's more like how it's present, Even though you say to her So I don't really carry, you know, they want me to do this. I'm doing them a favor all. Just do it. But I think you and I think a lot of people use this? I don't care, but they do care.

spk_1:   4:51
But do you think I care?

spk_0:   4:52
Yeah, I think you do. Really? Of course. You care about what he thinks of you. You care about what? Your coach things over. You know,

spk_1:   5:01
my coach. I definitely don't care what he thinks.

spk_0:   5:03
You care about how your boss think of you know I don't. There must be a an element off. I care. There's no 100%. I don't care. I don't totally disagree with that. I honestly, But I do. I don't care. Maybe nothing. Because when it comes to words, but when it

spk_1:   5:18
comes to work and like there's a level of professional professionalism because I get paid to do a job. Now, when I do my job, I'm very straightforward. And I don't care whether they're going to accept my commendations or not. At the end of the day, I want to do the job to the best of my ability, whether it upsets on one or does it? And people always say to me, You know, you should have said it differently, But dude, I don't care. I'm doing the right. I think

spk_0:   5:44
they did a phrase I need to rephrase what I need to rephrase that. You know it is no. Is that the idea of like there is? No, I don't care. 100% off everyone in our life. I don't care when it comes to certain places, certain people, but definitely I care when it comes to certain other

spk_1:   6:05
people. I care about D j like I hear you can't care about my impression in front of my son. I don't

spk_0:   6:10
on your wife. Maybe Maybe your father e I don't know. I can't tell all these people. But what I'm saying is that when people say I don't care in the act like it is definitely 100% everywhere. I mean, we know we have so many roles in our lives, and we have different characters and we are different people in different places. There must be a person or a situation or a place we do care. But I think it makes you look better when you say I don't care. Like, you know, I asked people the time in my class. I don't Whenever we're talking about perception, I don't care. I don't want I don't want to be the same as everyone else. Then why's conformity so high in the world?

spk_1:   6:49
What? Sure, it's good point.

spk_0:   6:50
People like constantly give you this thing about? No, I don't care. I like being different. We spent all the time trying to be the same

spk_1:   7:00
of you. That's a good point. No, that's very true.

spk_0:   7:01
So I think I feel like people just

spk_1:   7:04
use I do. But again, like all right, I tried to conform and wear something nice to my cousin's birthday party, and I lasted 20 minutes in a button down T shirt, and then I literally took the button down off, So I took it off in the middle of the restaurant. I was wearing a T shirt, you know, it was a burrito bowl T shirt underneath because I got couldn't be like that. I I got it for free at a Bruins game. Well, actually, hey, I got it for free because it was her birthday and it was chipotle a that gave her that. So I'm aware that under my cousin looks at me, she's absolutely appalled and why I was like I was uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable wearing a button down shirt. I was freaking uncomfortable. I didn't like it, so I wanted to be myself. I wanted to be normal to me. That's normal to other people. That's like, Oh, you know, this guy has no respect or whatever.

spk_0:   7:51
I mean, I feel like that selfish of you, though. You know why? Because this is siphoned off of them for letting me be myself. Then don't come. It's my birthday. I want the birthday to be certain. I've invited certain people that I care about. I had a certain ambience, and I would like people to respect that. Now if you're uncomfortable in a button up shirt and then don't come because the idea is is that I've invited people that I care about, and I want a certain image for my picture for my birth.

spk_1:   8:20
Well, she got the picture. I had the shirt on for the picture.

spk_0:   8:23
20 minutes. Yeah, that's why I don't have to put up with the doctor. D.

spk_1:   8:28
I wear a button shirt every day to work. I wear pants or taxis to work every day.

spk_0:   8:33
It's a for

spk_1:   8:33
during her weekends in at night. I'd rather be in training pants or shorts and a T shirt. Then you're just thinking of yourself. Exactly. I'm thinking of my

spk_0:   8:43
level operative for my love thing. Don't invite me

spk_1:   8:47
like you said, I wouldn't be offended. Like I wouldn't be offended. No, no, no. She invited. You have to goto have

spk_0:   8:52
said Look, if I have to wear my button shirt more than two hours, I'm not coming. Be honest.

spk_1:   8:58
No, it would be more than 20 minutes. I have to go to a wedding. Okay. And everyone was like, What are you gonna wear? You gonna wear suit? Are you gonna wear it? I was like, I'm wearing to stash it. Well, yeah, they're like, why was like, because I can take off the little gonna go after 20 minutes. Fine

spk_0:   9:11
for me. They were just yesterday for birthday.

spk_1:   9:15
No, I wasn't gonna do that. It was a birthday. It wasn't wedding. What a restaurant. Weddings way More important,

spk_0:   9:20
was it arrest drunk?

spk_1:   9:21
It was at a restaurant. I really care.

spk_0:   9:23
Obviously, your cousin wants to celebrate her birthday. She was

spk_1:   9:25
fine with it. She probably knew I was gonna do that shit. They were probably expecting me to show up in like, a T shirt and jeans. When in reality I showed up half decent. So I guess you like Carrie. Have you

spk_0:   9:38
sound like you've done them a favor?

spk_1:   9:40
I really did. They've done you a favor by inviting you host. Likely, they probably get. And that's

spk_0:   9:46
they realize you don't have a social life. Let's give them something more, then. Just working out.

spk_1:   9:51
Actually, it's funny. I do have I get invited a lot.

spk_0:   9:54
You're really, really I never heard anything that you go anywhere. I don't. You just go to the gym to work and come home and stay with your family

spk_1:   10:02
in the podcast runs the show. All right.

spk_0:   10:06
If this is not socialization way, say that you're an introvert. Hell, though you are an introvert. I'm gonna be in front of

spk_1:   10:14
500 people this weekend. Emceeing an event. There's no way I'm an introvert.

spk_0:   10:18
Well, that doesn't mean that you're not an introvert

spk_1:   10:21
and I have a lot

spk_0:   10:22
of you. I have a ton of friends. So you enjoy your time alone. It's

spk_1:   10:27
not really alone. Its priorities

spk_0:   10:31
Do you get your energy from being around people? Or do you feel like people? Suck your energy when you spent quite a time with that

spk_1:   10:37
depends on the person like it depends on the people. I don't know. Depends. I don't know.

spk_0:   10:43
Your honor, in a social setting, extra verse that they have going on is there

spk_1:   10:48
at the gym there, people where I feed off of their energy, Yes, like 100% all feed off of their energy. If they're there and I'm talking to him or whatever, I'll probably have a good lifting session. But then there are people at the gym that if they are, they're It's like, Oh, my God, like, really they do kind of not suck the energy out of me to put a damper on her, you know? And then there was the same with at work. But in general, like, I do have a social life when I want one. But I prioritize.

spk_0:   11:12
You get invited a lot,

spk_1:   11:14
a lot, and I always say, No,

spk_0:   11:15
just say yes. And I go with you, you and hey, we're the only two people I like to hang out with. I know we're cool. I mean, I hang out with way, never invite me, apparently apparently works that that

spk_1:   11:26
cool. Apparently, we're so cool that we turned down a lot of people one week, and

spk_0:   11:31
this is really I told

spk_1:   11:32
you. We got

spk_0:   11:33
invited by someone to dinner. Should have said yes. I'm bringing my psychologist. Next time I will. Good way for me to meet people.

spk_1:   11:40
Next time, I'll be like, Look, I won't go, but I'm gonna tell my shrink. I'm not coming about myself. I'm gonna tell the co host of the show It she'll go and she Sure,

spk_0:   11:49
I like official invitations like I'll do those, like, you know, when you've got invited, like embassy or diplomatic stuff for some kind of a social gathering.

spk_1:   11:57
Hey, had to force me to that embassy of it. Literally. I had to force me. And you know how she got me to go? She was like, Maddie, you gotta think of the show. She was like, Put yourself aside and think of the show to see what you

spk_0:   12:11
got yourself a sigh. See, even your wife is giving you a message. No, because it's

spk_1:   12:15
not a social awkwardness. It's the whole, like sometimes you gotta put on that that act like in a social setting like that. You can't tell people how you truly feel like they could say something outrageously stupid and you know it's stupid or something that's outrageously false, right? And give this false perception. But you can't really say anything because you're in a social atmosphere to me that, like kills me because, like, I want to say this like if you're sitting in front of me, you're being this fake and I know the real you. Why are you putting on this phony

spk_0:   12:49
act? Because everyone needs to do whatever they need to do to be able to survive. So this is their defense mechanism. Who are you or me to say? Change it unless it's causing them? OK, but don't be fake in front of me. It's like, Dude, I knew you. Maybe, maybe,

spk_1:   13:04
Like I know the real you. I know who you are,

spk_0:   13:07
but you know, we all know that people do these things because this is their way of surviving

spk_1:   13:12
the project shirt that I made that says, Be real, be true Bu

spk_0:   13:16
That's you guess, And I think that's a good motto, their weight

spk_1:   13:20
that resemble that you really be true, and b you you

spk_0:   13:23
know that people have tried to be real and to be themselves and they

spk_1:   13:27
were rejected. But like anything in life, we don't give it enough time. We're talking about this earlier about the podcast. Most podcast fail. Why? Because they think it's an overnight success. They think they'll see results in a year or two years when in reality that is not the case. It's like a lot of these stars, except for like the 0.1% a lot of bad toe work. Their ass is off to get where they got, what they were like. Robert De Niro, these guys, they just make it in Hollywood, right? They all started with low budget, you know, crappy movies and sort of worked their way.

spk_0:   13:59
I'm on my way there, Ugo, you doesn't. It's low budget,

spk_1:   14:02
and you're gonna be the Doctor Ruth of Kuwait.

spk_0:   14:05
That's right. So I

spk_1:   14:06
told you, you need to hire me to write your scripts,

spk_0:   14:08
but your expensive

spk_1:   14:10
each script and topic for, like, the show.

spk_0:   14:13
I don't even have lost the with you. What you know is gonna account

spk_1:   14:16
300 Katie per show. That's a discount.

spk_0:   14:18
You can write the show they have to write. The show has to be approved way Have a director.

spk_1:   14:24
You know what? You're better off ditching them, hiring me and starting your own YouTube channel.

spk_0:   14:28
They're nice people. Well, I really enjoy better material. Then. You you and I could do our own show.

spk_1:   14:36
Uh uh, Hi, Fi. So I only go on podcast.

spk_0:   14:39
Yeah. I wonder why I don't go on TV. And now you're gonna give me all the advice to be on TV when you don't even go on TV. I'm on one episode I asked you which would have 10 minutes. I would be with you and you didn't go. I'm not a big TV personal. We got issues. Let's get on that. I have a surprise

spk_1:   15:00
for you after this. We're not gonna do it anymore,

spk_0:   15:01
you know? No, because you're pissed off. Pissed off Whatever life life doesn't revolve around you.

spk_1:   15:09
Hey, Well, apparently I have a problem, because

spk_0:   15:13
you do care. Remember I said, there's no one that doesn't get higher. My son's opinion. So it's not 100% raising

spk_1:   15:21
him the right way. But do I care going into a social situation?

spk_0:   15:24
No. You didn't hear what I said. I said there is no true 100%. I don't scare. I did, because that would minimize your humanity. We do care, but we care at a different percent with different people, love. Oh, yeah. I think these people that are constantly saying I don't care, Dr. D. I don't care. I want to live my life. But they do care because everything else around us says that we do care.

spk_1:   15:51
Well, hold on. All right. We'll go back to another thing. You really want to get this? All right. We'll get to it. Don't worry. We're only 15 minutes in. Like I slept some more points here for this

spk_0:   16:01
time to rise. I'll get the

spk_1:   16:03
surprise will get it rolling. Keep the anticipation of I

spk_0:   16:06
like a little kid, but all right, if

spk_1:   16:09
I really cared, how many times have you seen me on shape? Right. Remember? I'm always scruffy like

spk_0:   16:14
you are.

spk_1:   16:14
Yeah, I'm usually scruffy. My boss had to tell me to shave before meeting with you. If that's and I was like, Fine, I'll do it.

spk_0:   16:22
That's terrible. That's just But its priorities, though, Like I don't have eyes yourself.

spk_1:   16:28
No, I don't. I don't prioritize. Self care to me is going to the gym again. My workout in making sure our mobile and I can move well and I can lift heavy shit weights. That's my priority. That's really my priority. Now when it comes to like, self grooming or whatever, I take like, three showers a day. But I got but I don't stink. No. Yeah. I don't like e don't like smelling my own body order. Yeah, but in general, like when it comes to like, go to the haven't gone to a barber like five months.

spk_0:   16:59
That's terrible.

spk_1:   17:00
Hair has never been this long, But I

spk_0:   17:01
don't have to have to put up with this. She doesn't

spk_1:   17:03
care. She might, but whatever

spk_0:   17:05
she probably cares. This just might tell you

spk_1:   17:07
like the guys make fun of my hair, but I don't care.

spk_0:   17:09
You know, I saw in this together in front

spk_1:   17:12
of you. You know what I play along with it. They're just joists that they don't have my beautiful, wavy straight hair that,

spk_0:   17:17
you know, fly way We don't have answers to People would just say they're jealous way Never take any responsibility ourselves all about someone else being jealous

spk_1:   17:26
If they really cared, send a barber to my house to cut my hair.

spk_0:   17:30
You care about yourself. It's not about being with other people is if you care about yourself, you good priorities, though it is a priority is health care.

spk_1:   17:40
My priorities work are sorry. Family work and saving J. Jim G. I don't shave, right? John Cast on. And then it's like I don't know, baseball or something like self enjoyment, you

spk_0:   17:55
know, is where self care. So if

spk_1:   17:57
there's a shower, dude, that's where you get that Look. If I could get away with a buzz cut, I would do it. If I could just shave my own head of at home, I'd probably

spk_0:   18:05
just go balls. I wanted you. But I have an

spk_1:   18:06
awkward looking head.

spk_0:   18:08
No, But then the other thing is the bald people safe. It takes a lot of time because then you have to shave on time.

spk_1:   18:14
Well, well, so there we go to that takes just as much time is going to the floor.

spk_0:   18:17
That's true. You like the house?

spk_1:   18:21
I'm not talking about the topic.

spk_0:   18:22
I see. I see it. But, you know, I was thinking there, you know, we all we have a hair dressers that or whatever you call them. They come to the house. There's a mobile salon for women. I'm sure there's one for men

spk_1:   18:35
know there probably is, but honestly, I can't be bothered.

spk_0:   18:38
Me. You're so good on Instagramming and doing this check and look. It has to be something you're paying much like you double the

spk_1:   18:45
price and is it really worth it? And

spk_0:   18:47
for God's sake, I'll pay for it.

spk_1:   18:50
My barber's like I've been going to the same barber for almost 20 years now. It's like he was 20 when I started, and now he's like, Well,

spk_0:   19:00
you've seen him get married. He has kids.

spk_1:   19:02
He's got, like, six kids now, like

spk_0:   19:04
I have to support the six K. Yeah, it's

spk_1:   19:08
like he sees me and he's like, you just shakes his head every time he gets so pissed. Of course he was like, You know what? You I always give you a good haircut and you ruin it. You just let it go. Yeah, exactly. But he's gotten used to it so many years, and it's funny because he cut my hair when I was a kid. When I moved back to quit, I went to a bar where they screwed up my hair really bad because I get a fate that goes all the way up until, like, a buzz cut. And I ran into him almost like I was like, Dude, can you please fix my hair? They messed him up so bad.

spk_0:   19:34
Okay, gives the best faith. That's nice. And they probably massage and steam. That's a a lot of this. No. Even men do it. I don't want that shit. No, but that cleans up your pores. I

spk_1:   19:47
don't want no guy massaging my

spk_0:   19:48
head. They have such the head were to give you a facial. Men can get that. I've always like a man that doesn't take care of him. So

spk_1:   19:57
I was. I've always wanted to get a facial, though.

spk_0:   19:59
Yeah, man, that the salon. He probably will give you a face. I've

spk_1:   20:03
got my nails done before.

spk_0:   20:04
Yes, those hear me? I'm not attracted to rough men. I want my man that I know. He took care of himself. He should go and get a good shave. Good haircut to a massage. So the way their wrinkles, the pores, air cleaned.

spk_1:   20:17
So all you guys up there, if you If you want to give dr D a call

spk_0:   20:21
you have. You have to be silky smooth your nails like they can't be dirty, for God's sake, if you have a dirty

spk_1:   20:29
job. So I cut my nails. I keep

spk_0:   20:31
my see. That's good. You

spk_1:   20:33
know where I cut my nails? Already heard the car. No walking outside the office because I'll take, like many breaks just to get my circulating in my legs and move over a little bit. So what? I'm walking around outside. I'll cut my nails.

spk_0:   20:46
Well, good. I try to be productive, but they're our product. We can give you that will give you a facial or a while you're walking. You could also the what does a facial do for it opens? Ooh, pores and it cleans it. I'll take a steaming shows in this weather that we have.

spk_1:   21:01
Can I take a steamy show?

spk_0:   21:03
It doesn't work. It has to be. You have to have you got dreams, Alice authorized.

spk_1:   21:07
I use that Alpine Swiss scrub stuff that my wife buys. Uh, it's like a weird black scrub. It. I'm just like, yeah. Does that shit work?

spk_0:   21:17
I don't think so. I know you guys guys sick. He's weird. He's got issues having all the crazy people. My friends. Okay,

spk_1:   21:30
You know what it's all good shows for You can psychoanalyze me and help everyone else in the prime of stock with you can do that's true because you can't fire me.

spk_0:   21:40
Yeah, I can fire you because it's

spk_1:   21:43
funny. Some people say they listen to this show for you. And some people say, Listen for me, which is a maze.

spk_0:   21:48
Whose list Lee for you everywhere. Probably trying to, like,

spk_1:   21:51
stroke your ego. They just like hearing the sexy radio

spk_0:   21:56
so it enters. They, like, have a nice voice to you.

spk_1:   21:59
Do you have a good radio, boys? You actually really do have a good radio voice?

spk_0:   22:02
Yeah, surprisingly, thank you so much.

spk_1:   22:05
I got a good voice,

spk_0:   22:07
huh? Just a voice. No, but yeah, I'm cute on TV.

spk_1:   22:13
Yes, you are. You're very photogenic. You were extremely photogenic. Me too. Good. Let's have a little race. Uh, let's have All right, everybody listening to the show. Okay. We want to see who likes whom or where You have a judging God.

spk_0:   22:30
Yes. I was posted on Instagram.

spk_1:   22:32
Who do you like are you sure you want to do? That's fine. You want to do Who? Do you like work E? Yes, I don't know about

spk_0:   22:40
that. And then I'll post it on my instagram. Let's do it tomorrow.

spk_1:   22:47
But that might bruise my ego. You can post it on your instagram.

spk_0:   22:50
What does those of your fans anyways? You? That you're still

spk_1:   22:54
had a post it on the project's instagram?

spk_0:   22:56
It's the same thing. No. Does you Mei Li

spk_1:   22:59
know you could meet? You can actually post. You can re post on your instagram so they go to the project and vote. But the list is listening to this, you know? Maybe not. Follow us on Instagram go to the Project Queen on Instagram And when this episode airs that day, I will put a post and you can judge who your favorite is on the site to Ducky. Is it the order? I don't have any of this. Or is it mad dog? Maddie Hey, the amazing voice you're now listening to the best Whatever ways were Listen to earlier Please strap in your boots and get ready for the wildest ride. Intro dude

spk_0:   23:39
is like nettle like I s Oh, really do it if you're gonna start a party. Exactly.

spk_1:   23:48
All right. Have a little music at the beginning, but it should last literally, like three or four seconds and then go go into, like, we get a new intro coming out. By the way, our sound guy,

spk_0:   23:58
to your surprise,

spk_1:   24:00
like holding it. Ransom Close. You gotta go. I gotta go. I know. All right. So the 10 myths about the mind are you ready for this? I see what you think in comparison to what psychology today has raided. What? I had some of the myths. Also, 10 Ms. Bye. I'm going to give. Uh oh, no, I found number two. All right. Found number two. It was printed at the body were missing number two. People number two is actually a good one too. Let's he'll enjoy number two. Okay. All right. You ready? Birth order. What does Dr D say? What? The psychology today say

spk_0:   24:40
Adler sors Birth order is very important. I think it is. It has. It has made me who I am because I'm the middle child. They never had time for me, so I believe it's true.

spk_1:   24:51
Well, research out of the United States and the United Kingdom and Germany found no significant correlation between your mother and traits such as genius ness consciousness. So are more imagination, too. So

spk_0:   25:07
whatever. What do they know?

spk_1:   25:09
I mean, look, at the end of the day, all studies can be set up with parameters. I think birth order

spk_0:   25:17
is very important. I mean, think about it. The first child would become very anxious about, and we spent a lot of time with them. And then they become very independent because we depend on them to help us with the rest of the kids. The middle child's always for gotten and the last one there so old they don't know how to raise them or her, and then they get spoiled. But now some people said that that's not true. What I feel. It's true. So I don't know what this myth is about, but whatever. Okay, X number two

spk_1:   25:46
number 20 you're giving up on until I state my argument like, Oh, I don't think it matters at all. I I honestly think everybody's different birth order doesn't matter. I agree with you on that.

spk_0:   25:56
It does matter. No, I said I

spk_1:   25:58
owe you say? That's all right. I say it doesn't matter.

spk_0:   26:00
You needn't. But the environment matters. I think I think

spk_1:   26:04
the environment matters. I think the environment matters, but I don't think the birth order matters. I think if the environment is structured in a way that cultivates a certain personality, that's gonna happen. It's just like you

spk_0:   26:17
don't think that having above you on siblings, Billy a matter

spk_1:   26:21
name. We took him in class. He had the social context is where you had the house. And then you have the neighborhood. And then you had the city. No, it wasn't Mosley with some other dude.

spk_0:   26:30
Remember the ecological?

spk_1:   26:31
Oh, I remember the page to Was a guy riding a bike and then it had the whole circle. The thing. Shit. I'm dying to know what it is right now.

spk_0:   26:39
Ah, Wonder if His Highness I don't remember

spk_1:   26:43
who finds so high. And so I think it was with an H. It was a German dude. Okay, Most goods. Most good psychologist came out right. So he I remember. I remember

spk_0:   26:56
it. Just think from class hands. The personality think

spk_1:   27:00
No, it wasn't abnormal. I think it might have been abnormal?

spk_0:   27:03
No, I meant they did the five personality traits.

spk_1:   27:06
No, no, no. It was a guy. It was one of the things that we took in class where he said, you take like, certain characteristics from your household, and then you take characteristics from your neighborhood, then your city or town, then the city than the country and then the region. So it kind of shells out. And I think that the same thing applies when I think it applies to the generations to like, each generation is different. So it's true. But I don't think I mean, I don't know.

spk_0:   27:34
I think that I I think I was influenced by the siblings that were above me and the siblings behind me. I probably influenced them. So Oh, I felt like the energy my parents spent on the older kids were not the same as the younger kids. So I mean, maybe it's the energy or the environment. Maybe not exactly when you were born. I don't know. I guess the era we were born in if there was a war, not war trauma, I don't know. And all those play part anyways, Number two sex addiction. What's the question was, There's no sex addiction.

spk_1:   28:07
It's a mind myth. Yeah, but it's called 10 myths about the mind

spk_0:   28:11
I know, but addiction in general. It is part of the mind when we talk about the brain or the mind. We're talking about the brain and said there is nothing called sex addiction.

spk_1:   28:21
It says it was taken out of the D. S M five. It was taken Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Deism funds used to make diagnosis in the United States and World Health Organization has added compulsive sexual behavior disorder to its diagnostic guide but stopped short of using the A word, which is addiction.

spk_0:   28:44
So yeah, but they care. They call it a compulsive sexual behavior.

spk_1:   28:48
It's stating whether a habit fits into a category of addiction. Rand knows Judge based on six criteria. Mark Griffiths, the psychologists out of Nottingham University. And, oh, he's equating it, too, Like the object in question of heroin gambling, pornography, he would say the same pornography or sexual addiction. Isn't

spk_0:   29:10
he saying sexual addiction is not the same substance abuse? A gaming? Yes, but deism five didn't take it out.

spk_1:   29:18
They didn't take it out.

spk_0:   29:19
Is that what you're saying

spk_1:   29:20
That's what they're saying.

spk_0:   29:21
They didn't They shouldn't. But they're not calling it sexual addiction or sexual addiction, right? Because on India's, um, there's nothing called. But when they did some research, they noticed the people that were addicted or not sexual addiction. I'm thinking off porn addiction, but they're talking about sex addiction, like people that wanna have more than one partner in the same day.

spk_1:   29:42
Yeah, they're basically saying, because it's not a substance, that's that's That's not a substance, right? But isn't the thinking on it? Wouldn't hurt

spk_0:   29:50
if he were? You wouldn't be releasing a Torrent addict. Yeah, yeah, but not but they exactly. But it's not a sex addiction is like engaging in a sexual act.

spk_1:   29:59
What you want about him from eight years

spk_0:   30:02
than their name Phone? A maniac. They're not sexual addiction,

spk_1:   30:04
but isn't a nymphomaniac like addicted to sex anyways.

spk_0:   30:07
But I think I'm four is not there anymore. I have to check again. I know her well. Sexuality is not really my major. Okay? Oh, my forte. But should be now more, more people are addicted to something. I know you're in the wrong business. I think

spk_1:   30:23
I'm going to go get a do class. All right, left brain and right brain. Basically, they're saying in this that it doesn't matter. That isn't It's bullshit. Like left brain, right? Brain creativity. All that, then it's B s.

spk_0:   30:36
I mean, in a way, I think maybe it is B s. And what do you know? I've seen some people. But how will you know? Maybe you're right. No, I don't think it makes a difference. But I think there are people that would say to you know, I'm a left brainer because I am an artist. I know how to ah, more verbal. I wonder if these are skills you honed and became better Exactly. Not that

spk_1:   30:58
you have told you. I know, and I could agree with that because at the end of the day, we don't know shit about the mind. Yes, we really don't know anything about the

spk_0:   31:07
brain, but I don't think it's true that

spk_1:   31:10
people learning styles and this leads into what you just said to.

spk_0:   31:14
Yes, so learning styles. It's a skill you learned howto learn. What is it? Should not? It's not like where your brain should be. There's no section in your brain that teaches you how to learn.

spk_1:   31:25
Yeah. Yeah, that's what this article's base will

spk_0:   31:28
say. There are people saying that there is

spk_1:   31:30
no that tailoring education to visual learners. Audio auditory. A learner doesn't make sense, which I agree with. I think everyone is different. And it's just how you trained yourself toe work. That's true. You know, like, personally, me, I learned through the person in front of me, like, if you're a shitty teacher, I'm not learning it. I get a bad test results. Probably did battle all of your tests because you don't. I'm joking. It was Did you get it? I think it was a joke. I said I did bad on your test. You were a bad teacher. You're not great.

spk_0:   32:05
No, But you know what? I was tryingto

spk_1:   32:07
That's nice. Don't you off every time.

spk_0:   32:12
No, I would never dismiss you. I know. You know, when you were saying that I was thinking that nowadays because most of these young kids are all learning through their iPad s. So they're becoming a lot more visual. So from the beginning, when they're small, right? You see these kids a lot like on in the restaurant or everywhere, where they're just walking around with their iPad there in the car there watching I wonder if the new learners are all becoming much more visual. So now we're thinking that people are visual learners when really they've learned to learn by watching what I'm saying, because I've noticed this new generation. Now most all of them. They don't write or read anything by hand. Everything is seen and heard. So I think that would make a difference, right?

spk_1:   32:58
Yeah. No, definitely.

spk_0:   32:59
So it is a style that you've learned. Not that you are a visual learner or a auditory learner.

spk_1:   33:07
You ready for this one? Multiple intelligence into personal intelligence. Musical rhythm? A.

spk_0:   33:13
There's a whole doesn't exist. They're

spk_1:   33:15
saying that you can't that would have more than one. And when it's, you know, you can't yet and you can't equate it to the I Q. Test because the I Q test is set up to measure certain parameter Bolin. Yeah, this one is saying what this is saying? That you basically you can cultivate this skill and freed off of it, which I would agree with

spk_0:   33:35
its too, yeah, so but they don't want us to call it multiple intelligence. It's multiple skills. Yes, you have. No, they're

spk_1:   33:43
just saying it. It doesn't exist to say that you have multiple intelligence like your We

spk_0:   33:47
only have intelligence, verbal and performance. Yes, that's how we do with Ike.

spk_1:   33:52
They're basically saying that your I Q test doesn't determine if you are able to create art, are able to create music, are able to create something of a higher intelligence. You could have a low I Q test or you can still farmer but a great performer. Exactly.

spk_0:   34:08
Which is true. I agree with that because there are people that you're you test and their I Q is low. But then their end up being really great at guitar or something or performance or drawn our creativity. It's there. So maybe it's true.

spk_1:   34:22
No, I agree,

spk_0:   34:23
because remember, I Q is an overall estimate of your function. So let's say in their verbal, they didn't get a high score, but there was a category in there, like information. They were very good at it, or vocabulary. They were really good at it. So the idea is is that we calculate the total off the verbal section, but that verbal section has a lot of sub tests, so yeah, it makes sense.

spk_1:   34:46
That's what Gardner says. Just said these same exactly exactly. So, yeah. Gardeners, the man. Oh, I like this one because we just had an episode on it and not us while the other. Yes, The project Quake just had an episode with, ah, Coach Paul Radic. Okay. And he came out and said this plane, his day, the 10 hours of practice, the 10,000 our rule

spk_0:   35:11
10,000 hour of road that to miss

spk_1:   35:14
that. It's a methods bullshit.

spk_0:   35:15
That's we don't need to practice 10,000.

spk_1:   35:17
No, no, it doesn't matter. Like you can practice 10,000. You're not gonna be the best.

spk_0:   35:22
Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, they're people that don't practices much, and they're very good. And what you're saying? Yeah, that's, like, practice Anything?

spk_1:   35:29
No. Yeah, like the You know how they say if you do 10,000 hours of practice, you're gonna be an expert. That's that's, like in,

spk_0:   35:35
like, 10,000 hours of playing piano. Yeah. E

spk_1:   35:39
o make you have friggin whoever. What's? What's the piano? I'm gonna make you know Yanni. And that's what Paul said.

spk_0:   35:46
Because everybody thinks. Do you think these people they've practiced forever and ever? That's how they got to the level that they are. No, you're saying is not true at all. Now there people have in practice, but they've got the skill because genetically, they might be predisposed to that. Exactly. Yeah. There's some people that have art and fine arts and music as a gene. So these people already are ableto cultivate that Gee,

spk_1:   36:12
it's the genetic lottery. What? You just have it.

spk_0:   36:14
You just have it. I don't have it so but there are people that don't have the musical side off them. But then they could become musical. But they're those people have to print.

spk_1:   36:23
You can learn it, but you're never gonna be like a Led Zeppelin. I mean, let's be realistic. It's true. And I mean, what Paul said and I quote is he said we only tell ourselves about the 10,000 our rule to make ourselves feel better. Yeah. You know, we believe to motivate us to pray. Yes, like you can get good, you can be good, but you'll never be a superstar by practicing 10,000 hours. Yeah, if I equate all of the CrossFit I've done in the last year. It's well over 10,000 hours, and there's any good at it. I'm good, but I'm not like at the pro level. Nowhere near that. Well, like that. I'm nowhere near the Pearl of like my coach. He dances circles

spk_0:   37:06
so hard, eh? So how do you get to become a pro addict by practicing some more? Yeah,

spk_1:   37:11
but you have the genetic component. Like some people, they're fast twitch muscle fibers click faster. You know, there's just It's just built genetics like LeBron James. And, you know, Paul again brought this up. He's like LeBron James has a brother. He just did it when the genetic lottery looks exactly like LeBron, same height, everything but just sucks a basketball

spk_0:   37:31
so you can see that genes are becoming more and more important in the development off our personnel. Oh, yeah, Our skills. Our intelligence.

spk_1:   37:44
100%. 1%. I totally believe luxury. Okay, so, yeah, 10,000 hours. Bullshit. 10,000 hours. Bull said, Oh, you're gonna disagree with this one. I'm sure. The depression gene,

spk_0:   37:57
that's true. There's no depression, Jean.

spk_1:   38:00
So I want psychology today saying,

spk_0:   38:02
Well, I don't know where they got their information. They were just recently in a research that said that it's not the Depression gene, but there are certain genes that are more prone to having mental illness. Is where they saying read word by word because I don't want to know this.

spk_1:   38:18
The likelihood that one will experience anxiety an episode of major depression on an autism spectrum diagnosis is to some degree directive by genetics. You have a much higher risk of having depression if you have a sibling or a parent with depression. Yes, and the same is true for schizophrenia and basically psychiatric conditions. Yes, says Kevin Mitchell. Okay, a nearer genetics at Trinity College, Dublin. At least the 19 nineties research in psychiatry have searched for specific genes that have a major influence on a person's risk for mental disorders. But scientists have failed to turn up reliable evidence. Okay, so they've failed to turn up reliable evidence that any single common genetic variant matters which, when it comes to mental illness. Earlier this year, a research team reported that none of the 18 candidate jeans for major depression genes that passed the studies had suggested they might have any meaningful correlation

spk_0:   39:31
here. You can have a gene for mental illness, but it's not a gene for depression. But do you probably are much more likely to have depression if your parents one of your parents, had the president of both I mean memory also know that schizophrenia is genetic because we've done the twin research and you're 47% rate off. If one twin has their schizophrenia, the other one would. So you know this stuff.

spk_1:   39:55
This goes into a lot of studies about genes and disapproving studies. Now, at the end of the day, you can look at any study and disprove it from an argumentative perspective like this is an article at the end of day. It's not a study. What we're reading is an article, so it's based off of the opinion of the writer of the article on what research they have done now. Would I agree? No, I think there is a genetic component. I definitely think there's a genetic component to it.

spk_0:   40:23
I mean, definitely. But there's also an environmental. For example, think about if you're a kid and you're raised by a depressed mom, there's a possibility that you can also learn to be depressed from the affect off that mom and there are research successor. So sometimes we don't you have a a good chance of becoming depressive. You're raised by depressed mom or dad because of the behavior that they've exhibited, raising you at the same time. If they are depressing, you have the gene than you are more at risk of becoming the president someone else. So there nowadays, they're not sure, is it? Environment is a genetic, but we know that genes play a big part. Yeah, that's what I think

spk_1:   41:05
you think you know.

spk_0:   41:06
Let's just true.

spk_1:   41:07
Well, it applies to fitness and everything. Like even with doctors, they said friggin cholesterol kills another saying, cholesterol doesn't they said that kills you and sugar was okay, So

spk_0:   41:17
they're saying cholesterol doesn't kill me anymore.

spk_1:   41:19
You know, there's good cholesterol, bad cholesterol.

spk_0:   41:21
I know, but they say the bad cholesterol kills

spk_1:   41:23
you, right? Well, I don't know. There's some arguments that say yes. No. And do we need it? Some people say we do need it for our body. I don't know. At the end of the day, we

spk_0:   41:33
don't know shit about the body like, realistic at the end of the day. Do whatever you want. Yeah.

spk_1:   41:39
I mean, look, doctors, no doctors? No. We only know so much. I think we only know the tip of the iceberg on the human body. But in reality, there's so much work just learning about If we knew it all, we would learn, like reverse aging. I think that would be

spk_0:   41:55
Oh, now I went when I know that I would

spk_1:   41:58
want that. But I don't think we're anywhere near it because we just don't. We can't comprehend it,

spk_0:   42:02
of course, because, you know, to study the brain, the person has three dead before we could study it die. Then we can study the brain anyway.

spk_1:   42:10
All right, the next one. The five stages of grief. It's wrong. Not wrong.

spk_0:   42:16
I know there are five stages. Kubler Ross would die if she finds out this is not true. Well, in reality. But one thing I disagree with, which now more and more people back in the days, you know, they used to say that the stage is came one by one, right? That you have to go through the 1st 1 before you go to the 2nd 1 the 3rd 1 Now the research is saying, I don't know what this one is saying, but the new research is saying that sometimes we can go back and forth. Sometimes we could skip some. Most of the time. People are either living in the anger stage or the bargaining stage.

spk_1:   42:49
She pays it basically what this is saying. Oh, good, I have good information. That's basically what they're

spk_0:   42:54
saying. So there is stages, except that we don't have to go through all of them.

spk_1:   42:58
It's not clear. They're saying the stages aren't clear that you can go through them. You can buy a house, you can go back and forth, right, And it's staying. That is, yeah, yeah, it's not set in stone and it's like some people could be more susceptible to it. People aren't as susceptible, and

spk_0:   43:13
it depends on your relationship with the person who's diagnosed or dead. Some people that their little sad, but then they're okay. The life moves on. You know what? I know a couple of people recently, they've lost somebody important to them and I see them and they're like life goes on. Juliet, what can you do? So Are they in denial? No, they've accepted it. They move through and accept it because this is the way that sort

spk_1:   43:36
of saying studies have shown. That's what studies have shown that most

spk_0:   43:39
everyone deals with it differently.

spk_1:   43:41
Yeah, they would be really upset for a certain amount of time, and then they would kind of bounce out of it.

spk_0:   43:45
Yes, and I also think that it has depends on the attachment issues you had with that person. So if you're very attached to that person, they moving from one stage to the other might take longer you. But if you weren't attached the person, especially if they were sick, you have already come in term with their terminal illness. Then it's a different story.

spk_1:   44:06
See this? I have no idea about attachment styles. Attachments Ryan's parents. Do you know it critically determine how people relate to others when they grow?

spk_0:   44:16
I don't agree with attachments Time

spk_1:   44:17
you don't Well, they don't agree with it, either,

spk_0:   44:20
because I feel like just the way I interacted with my parents doesn't really determine that. I was attached to a lot of touch.

spk_1:   44:26
Basically what they're saying in this article, they're saying it's a theory like there's been nothing proven about attachment styles.

spk_0:   44:32
There's nothing in it. But then, you know, you read all these things that talks about secure attachment, no attachment, negative attachment. Don't you remember when we were talking about and psychology? And then they're like when a kid has dropped that they care if they cry a little bit and they go on to have a positive attached if they continue to cry and cry and cry and they wait for their parents and then when the parents comes, they don't even accept their return. Something like that. So this is all B s.

spk_1:   45:02
That's what they're saying. That's basically what they're saying here.

spk_0:   45:04
So the you don't create any sense of bond it So it's a bond, not an attachment. Yeah, So what they're saying? I agree with bond like we create their bonds. They're

spk_1:   45:14
basically saying, like there's a difference between childhood attachment and later adulthood, attachment right, and that it changes in various based off off of the people, and there's no direct study that could indicate that if we hear another.

spk_0:   45:29
Oh, and there's no direct research that says if you've developed attachment as a child like a negative attachment or no attachment that doesn't have any influence on the relationship you would have later on as an adult.

spk_1:   45:42
Or it's a behavior created by the parent to oh, that's a behavior created by some parents will create That was in here, too, that some parents could create that behavior so the child stays more in tune with them or war, like

spk_0:   45:54
close to the coast to that. So the parents haven't attachment. Yeah, right. So they don't want their just sick in the head. But, I mean, but this is so interesting. It is.

spk_1:   46:05
And one thing I like about it is like Dave in this. It's, you know, 10 10 minutes about the mind. I like it because it's an article and it brings out these studies and to me at the end of the day. And this is what I love about articles, their opinion pieces, right? It's just we don't know shit. We really don't like everything. Changes like you could think the abnormal psychology book is right today. And in three weeks, someone could come up with these new theories that have been tested through research and, you know, prove otherwise.

spk_0:   46:36
Yeah, sometimes, like, that's kind of like scary, cause you then you don't have any sort of like foundation. But really, Actually, all the theories from the beginning that is a foundation, but because we're continuing to learn human behavior that we have to remember, nothing is black and white. So we have a base, and then that base can change in accordance. So they era that we're living in a normal psychologist. And I know I'm supposed to, like, appreciate a lot of these theories, but to be honest, a lot of times I hate when we try to box a human behavior certain ways. I mean, even in graduate school, like a lot of times, my teachers would drive them crazy math professors because I'm like, Well, who says saddened, Why is it that I have to be like that? And I do agree with disorders, and I know that we diagnose and I agree with symptoms. But as far as like when people say, well, if you chri didn't have a nice relationship with your father, you won't have a good relationship with men. The crew says that there must be other people that didn't really have a good relationship with men like women who are raised with a single mom, right? But then it doesn't determine that she's not gonna be able to find an attachment with a man, even though she's never had a man as a role model and that she will not have successful marriages. Do you see what I'm saying? While there are people that are raised by both parents regardless, if they were healthy, relationship or not? And then she engages, she gets in promiscuous relationships. She does. This is not stable in her romantic relationship, and she doesn't end up having a healthy marriage. Yeah, so a lot of times I feel like not to dismiss it. I think it's important that we have these theories, and I think that they're percent today. I'd It's it's It is a good guy. It's like, but I ate When there are people out there, the kind of like they put you in this box, you know? Well, research says this. So you must be this or you're feeling like we're talking about grief. Yeah, it's so interesting because it's like there are people out there is like Oh, no, but you know if, like, if you say what can I do? This is life. Then they automatically some psychologists would have said to my friends, who both 21 last month and 12 months ago lost their father, right? And when I saw them like, What are you doing? Juliet? Life goes on. They were like having gathering and they're out. No problem. And then I was like, other people would have read this as denial. I think the

spk_1:   49:02
10% that they were talking about that don't get over grief in this article are the 10% that might lose a child. I think that now, because they wear survival's wouldn't even want to think of that. You don't even want to think.

spk_0:   49:16
Can you survive it? Of course, Now we're not talking about that. You will not be able to survive now, but you are you able to survive it later? Yes, because there are parents who have lost the child and they have the survival skill. But they still there are some people never moved on from that stage off anger, right, And they didn't even go through the other Cobra Ross stages and stated angry for a long time until they die. And there are other people, even though they were attached to their kids. And they love their child. Still worm, able to manage to tap into their psychological immune system and do something, they were able to do something with that anger, something positive for their child. So I was wondered, like, Why are some people are able to move on from someone that you know, like a parent? How did they move on? Some people move on, not quickly, where they move on in their own way when their child dies and other people don't, for example. So it doesn't have something to do with their attachment. And their parent is it that they feel guilty because they don't feel like they are deserve int off to survive when their child died. I don't know. It's

spk_1:   50:30
not something like I don't want to think about, to be honest with, you know, I know. I know one thing I never want to think about. It's like we were talking the other day me and a doctor, and he was telling me I was like Do like it must be really hard. He's like the hardest thing that I have to deal with that I've ever had to deal with. It was telling a parent their child wasn't gonna make it. He said, I can deal with anything any shit you throw at me. But that is the one thing that was like, I'm a dad, you know? He's like, I'm a father. So it's like I'm telling them while crying He's like, It's that hard. I get it. I can't imagine. Yeah, I like that. Yeah,

spk_0:   51:03
I mean, I was a crisis worker for a long time. I loved doing crisis. And then, of course, you know, whenever there's a death they call the psychologist or whatever we were the ones you with. Whatever's wait, what? Run in trading. Here they are. You Can you please come? We need this family has lost code blue Code blue. And and it was like, You know what you're talking about. The father or husband, Whatever. I thought everything was easy, but to really tell someone of a child, it was it was even harder for me to explain it to them because then they want to know why and what happened. I don't have the answer like I told you, ever since my brother died like I don't like doing grief. I know a lot about it. I don't like talking, eh? They were actually just did an episode about grief. And I said that I've lost my brother. Yeah, and that. Oh, don't you remember when you first started a UK That kid died. Way had a load of ceremony, not sermon. You wanna be a condolences? We had it that that university

spk_1:   52:00
he broke down. I remember like I remember it like it was yesterday because you were like, sob. You broke down.

spk_0:   52:06
I couldn't believe it. What did you see? The parents. I feel so bad for them cause I remember my parents. Yeah, I remember how my parents life was never the same.

spk_1:   52:16
I think I looked at the parents I left.

spk_0:   52:18
My parents stayed angry for a long time. I don't think they've ever finished. The couple of my dad died, you know, I mean, four years ago, but still, like, I feel like my dad was managing, but I think my mom, she stayed angry for 20 years. I think Mom's and I'm angry at her

spk_1:   52:33
for being angry. I think Mom's hold on to it more than Dad's like mine.

spk_0:   52:37
Maybe because they're I don't know.

spk_1:   52:38
My dad deals with it in his own way, but he's a lot easier than my mother, and he's kind of not moved past it, I would say, but accepted it.

spk_0:   52:47
Yeah, but how long did it take your mom to accept it?

spk_1:   52:50
My mom still hasn't accepted it. Yeah, my mom is her life's been on hold since my brother died. Way

spk_0:   52:56
doesn't make you angry because my mother the same thing she made all our lives on hold because she couldn't accept it like it's not like I was happy about it. We were all in pain, but somehow because she was in pain, she put a stop toe our life. It depends on the

spk_1:   53:10
person, though. I mean, e I think it just depends on the parent. Like some parents are like, Hey, Well, yes, it sucks. Yes, all this. But I got three other Children or to other Children that have to worry about, you know? So some parents do think that way, But others I think they're just kind of more self absorbed into their own grief

spk_0:   53:29
were that thing. They were more selfish.

spk_1:   53:31
Yeah, no, I'd agree. No, I'd agree without a

spk_0:   53:33
100 exam is all about the way she processed the

spk_1:   53:37
grief. Actually, had I had a really tough more with the other day. It was a really tough moment. What happened, And this is part of me that I tend to bury and forget, and d j was with me. So it was even that much harder. I opened up my old baseball card bag like I have a little carry on suitcase that I've had for like, 20 years, and it has all my baseball cards in there. And I had forgotten that I had three of my brothers shirts in there.

spk_0:   54:02

spk_1:   54:03
so as D. J was like sitting on the bed and, like, I'm tearing up right now just talking about it. He's sitting on the bed and he's like, Daddy, what is this? Why do you have these clothes in here, Daddy, with these cards. And I was like, Oh, you know, these were your uncle DJs. And, like, real quick. I just took the shirt to go with of it, you know, to smell it, You know, I don't know if it's sense still there. But it's just that you know that feeling. Yeah. Overwhelmed with emotion, but so happy and grateful for everything that I've built after my brother's death and so grateful that my son was right there. And then I expressed that emotion in front of him. And then I told him what it was about. I granted he I had no clue like he's five. So he's like, What is this do talking about? But I was like, Look, this was your uncle DJs, you know, shirt.

spk_0:   54:52
They say, Oh, he has the same name is me. What he knows is now he goes quiet

spk_1:   54:56
about it. It's weird.

spk_0:   54:57
Do you not recognize there? They both have the same because

spk_1:   55:00
I just don't think he kind of gets it He like, I don't think he understands that what death is or with gone. You know what I mean?

spk_0:   55:08
That does don't have just like,

spk_1:   55:10
even when we were my dad gave me a body, like gave me a bunch of pictures. You know that that plastic bags my dad given me pictures of like my childhood and everything only decided the weirdest thing like, Yeah, I know what?

spk_0:   55:21
Cleaning up the attic. You know,

spk_1:   55:23
he's printing out all of his pictures. Like what? He likes putting pictures up on the wall.

spk_0:   55:27
Wow. So we gave it to you For what?

spk_1:   55:30
For the new apartment, With some more pictures so we could put more pictures.

spk_0:   55:34
And he's got some p put up.

spk_1:   55:35
Yeah. Oh, yeah. He has pictures everywhere. It's like it was really cute. Yeah, I walked in. He's like, Yeah, he's like, a blue days my son d j. And he's like, I blew his picture up. Look, I put it right underneath the light so it shines that I was I scared. It was so Yeah, he gave me pictures and I was showing DJs like O D J. This is your uncle day. Indeed. It kind of looks, and my dad goes easy and locked him in. A hate for those of you. The English lister. Yeah. Give him a complex. From now on, I'm like, but this is something I want him to know growing up that daddy had a brother. But of course, Yeah, that's important to me. But you know,

spk_0:   56:10
I do the same thing. And whenever we're back, Chicago we go to the grave, they see my brother's grave. My father's grave is right next to it, but because also my mom, every time she goes she I mean, she still visits the grave. And unfortunately, it's like two minutes from our house. I don't know when she's gonna move, but anyways is like every Sunday after church. Then she goes toe and shoe and we do in send, you know, the the whore thing. And then she was like So whenever we're there, they will go because they know. So there's my brother's picture is on the grave. So they go and they know that this is Uncle Sam and and they'll say every summer lady Now, every summer they ask Mom when we're gonna go see the Uncle Sam's grave on and Grandpa. But they are very fascinating. What? You show them important studio. So they know. And so I mean, of course, like, of course, my son. 15. He understands it, but my 10 year old, she's like, Where is he exactly? Then you don't know what to say. They're like, well, these with God and, you know, get onto all this conversation. So but I know that my mom always has a hard time talking about it, and I feel like I don't know when she's ever going to get to the idea where she could not least talk to her grandkids about it. But,

spk_1:   57:21
well, that generation, they'll never get there. I mean, if your mom is anything like my mom, it's just ain't happening.

spk_0:   57:27
I know, but I feel like it's very selfish, like they've never gone through the stage. They're stuck in one stage, which is fine. You been? You want to be here. Look, I allow everyone else to be

spk_1:   57:38
with my mother. That ship sailed like

spk_0:   57:40
like my mom was doing bargaining, which is the third stage all the time. Maybe I should have been this. Maybe I should have gone to church more me, like they goes on and on, trying to bargain and which is normal. But then it goes on for years. It's not normal, like, you know. Okay, we can do anything about it, what you could have done. And then I know families that are like, let's say, their loved one just got diagnosed of cancer than they're like spending. They'll go into bargaining right away. First they deny it, then they skip the anger. Then they're bargaining with God like maybe I could do this. Maybe I can give more money to charity. Maybe this and all this because we're trying to buy time, right? And it's sad. But what can you do? You

spk_1:   58:19
know exactly. I mean,

spk_0:   58:20
so I think the stages do exist. But I don't think that they have to exist in the way it is like before. And when I was in school, they like No, first you didn't hae. Then you become angry and they never liked taught us like Okay, I get angry. And then because then if you go into acceptance right away, then you think there's something wrong with you. To this day, people are like that. So, like my friends are like, Yeah, life goes on, we love it. It has no no no barrier to how much you love the guy.

spk_1:   58:45
But that's the thing. I think there's a lot of research to support. I think there's enough research to support that. Everybody's different, and not one rule of thumb applies to all. And then

spk_0:   58:55
that's that's true and even like, you know, the left hemisphere, right hemisphere brain. I mean, there are people that are, like, good in both skills there people, one skill, not the other. And it's like it's nice to now. No, if these are very factual, is that no longer do we have to say, Oh, you're the left brain like we don't need to label people. You're intelligent. You're intelligence is a matter which part of the brain is expediting the intel.

spk_1:   59:17
Exactly. And if you're a neurologist listening to the show and you disagree with us, please, by all means she's a GM, and you're more than welcome to come here and prove us wrong. You seriously, because I honestly think like they used what's called the brain scans the narrow. They used it in marketing, where it's like when your brain lights up when you get certain thoughts and whatever

spk_0:   59:39
and you're imaging. No, let me see. Yeah, I know,

spk_1:   59:43
but I honestly think that even with that, we don't know that much like we know a grain of

spk_0:   59:49
salt imaging of the brain way Noah Grain

spk_1:   59:52
assault in a truck. Full assault, if that makes any sense. You know what I mean? We we don't know that. But

spk_0:   59:57
then the more we learn, the more like, for example, knowing like, Where's the the what? Schizophrenia. For example, Where is the D K? Where's the grey matter? Right? Because they're determining, you know now, with people there are susceptible to schizophrenia are half. I mean, we don't really have all the research of saying what does the brain would look like before you have school? But we know that when people have schizophrenia and when we've seen the images off their brain, we know that there's gray matter in certain area that it doesn't exist in this vertical, you know, the bigger. So the idea is, is that I'm sure that there are more and more research that's gonna happen, where maybe they can detect schizophrenia prior to the person having the symptoms.

spk_1:   1:0:38
That would be, yeah, section would be good

spk_0:   1:0:41
detection. And then I know a lot of people, like sometimes a lot of people ask me, Is there a genetic test we can do to see if we have certain susceptibility to search and things? And I say, Yes, of course, there's genetic tests you can do, but again, this is not 100%. And the geneticist, he tells you this is not 100% like 10 times. Really. I think that when you know a lot of times people are trying to do there, passed to weed out as much of normality is we can't we can't play God.

spk_1:   1:1:08
You can't. It's impossible, Absolutely impossible

spk_0:   1:1:10
because I also know people have done the test and realize what genes they have and what DNA and still have abnormality. Well, even though the gene says they had no problem and then I know people that say You're a carrier, certain things and you are susceptible certain things we're going to have a normal child.

spk_1:   1:1:29
Don't you wanna laugh? I saw an ad by clinic here in Kuwait that said We could help you predetermine the sex of your child. Come see us and you will have a 50% chance of having a boy over a girl or

spk_0:   1:1:42
fully. And I know I don't like Are you an idiot? But you know how many idiots

spk_1:   1:1:49
probably bought into that?

spk_0:   1:1:50
Because they don't understand. They get 50%. It's like they don't understand.

spk_1:   1:1:54
You idiot. You have a 50 50 shot anyways,

spk_0:   1:1:56
But do You know, what kills me is that I actually have had clients who says because you know, they're fat boys and they want a girl or they've had all these girls and they need a boy, especially like we need to talk about it in one of our topic where this there's a push in this culture to have boys, you're And so the idea is that apparently there are, like, ways and methods that you can really do to determine the child sex

spk_1:   1:2:21
for all the ladies out there, you know, stand on your head. And just and then for all the guys, as my great grandmother told me, pee on your wife's back. Did you? She did. Yeah. And that brings you a boy? No, not a boy. My great, My great grandmother. God rest her soul essence. I loved her. I was so close to her to, um she was she was getting older. She kind of let loose a little bit more s. Oh, there was one point time where I just got married. It was like three months later she goes Mandy's hey, pregnant yet I'm like, No, she goes What do you not a man. Hey, I'm like that. Okay. All right. Uh, it was like it doesn't not work for you. Talk to your father. And I'm like, Okay, so then, like, a few weeks later, is she pregnant yet? No, she's not. She's just Come here. Come here. She calls me over like, 90. At this point, she goes, Look, when she's in the shower, just pee on her back, child. Okay, so I get my aunt. I go Hunty. She just told me to pee on my wife's back. It's like, OK,

spk_0:   1:3:23
work. Do you have D. J? I

spk_1:   1:3:25
know. I just I must have peed on his back about guys so interesting. I didn't pee on my wife.

spk_0:   1:3:31
Just so we're clear. All right. But the funny thing is, is that the

spk_1:   1:3:35
You know, there's a thing for that to help. They call it a golden shower.

spk_0:   1:3:38
Really? Is that what

spk_1:   1:3:39
I teach you? All the new

spk_0:   1:3:40
shit? I didn't know. Yeah, a golden show. You say

spk_1:   1:3:44
you'll act, you pee on your partner.

spk_0:   1:3:46
It's a sexual out. Okay, but is it really getting her to be preying on the way? All right, Does Grandma? Grandmother, she's your nose. Oldest Oh,

spk_1:   1:3:55
she didn't know Golden Shower. They used it as a PR. So she gets pregnant.

spk_0:   1:3:59
Maybe it's not, but she's telling you to get pregnant.

spk_1:   1:4:02
No, she told me to pee on her back.

spk_0:   1:4:04
I know. What I'm saying is that she It probably was a sexual act.

spk_1:   1:4:09
I don't know

spk_0:   1:4:10
what the guy told me to

spk_1:   1:4:12
pee on her back, so she gets pregnant.

spk_0:   1:4:14
You must have been in the shower. I don't think my mother

spk_1:   1:4:17
would say, I don't think my great grandmother say, yo, give your wife a golden shower. She'll enjoy, like, I highly doubt

spk_0:   1:4:22
she probably didn't know that the terminology. But, you know, back in the days, if they're taking a shower together, you peed on her back and then she gets pregnant. Lady,

spk_1:   1:4:32
I don't know what you do. All right, Dr. D, I don't know what you do in your spare time,

spk_0:   1:4:35
e e. I'm learning all these terminologies from you know I'm like, ma at this age tell you are like me more. Hey, I don't think so.

spk_1:   1:4:49
I think so. I think remember, we're going to get a vote and

spk_0:   1:4:52
I'll win. But if I want what do I get?

spk_1:   1:4:54
I'll do TV. I'll do, you know, I will do Project TV.

spk_0:   1:5:00
Well, we set the project.

spk_1:   1:5:01
Know what we'll do? We'll do a segment every two weeks. All right. Okay. And

spk_0:   1:5:08
look, how

spk_1:   1:5:08
how is that? How is that

spk_0:   1:5:11
anything for me?

spk_1:   1:5:12
We'll do a segment on the projects. Every two. Will

spk_0:   1:5:15
you go on a real TV? Oh, talk about the pressure. They're gonna pay me. They don't need to pay. It's an advertisement.

spk_1:   1:5:21
I don't need their advertising.

spk_0:   1:5:23
It's to bring awareness about the project.

spk_1:   1:5:25
I don't need any awareness. Whatever. I like slow girls.

spk_0:   1:5:29
No, no, you have to do something. If I win, it won't be like already.

spk_1:   1:5:33
I told you I will do filming with you for the

spk_0:   1:5:36
pyre. A deal, Phil May. I don't need to do it for

spk_1:   1:5:39
the project. You haven't done filming with me.

spk_0:   1:5:41
I know because you haven't invited me,

spk_1:   1:5:42
but I'm awesome at it.

spk_0:   1:5:44
How do you

spk_1:   1:5:44
like that little? That little ad we did like last week do. That was I had to go. A lot of people like that, they like the real illness of it. Really? Yeah. They thought it was really good.

spk_0:   1:5:53
Have you Have You sponsored it

spk_1:   1:5:55
that I sponsored it. But besides that, the people I have asked there like it was pretty cool. It kept me engaged.

spk_0:   1:6:00
It was good, actually. What? I liked it

spk_1:   1:6:03
because I told you right in it. You're good. I'm a genius writer.

spk_0:   1:6:07
You didn't write anything spontaneous? Know? Exactly. I created it. Exactly. I love the way you like. Expects me to just go along. Okay? I think everyone is in my mind. You should read the letter where you put me on the spot like, OK, I'm glad I can. Like, I got a sponsor t

spk_1:   1:6:26
to the first. You're like, I didn't know what you were doing. Wait, no, I know. It's like, Yeah, I'm like, I think everyone could read my mind. And hey always says she goes. Maddie, I'm not a fucking mind reader. You need to tell me what your cake

spk_0:   1:6:40
exactly like, Okay, let's do this. Let's do this. I don't know what we're doing. Okay? It's good that I'm flexible.

spk_1:   1:6:46
Yeah, but before we end the show, this might be our last show in the studio. Next one will be in the new apartment.

spk_0:   1:6:54
Yeah. You movin Yep. How do you know this is next week? Yeah, Yeah, Next week. Oh, the next time

spk_1:   1:7:01
I get some pretty cool surprises for the news, it's gonna be pretty much the same. Blue Black. I think I would

spk_0:   1:7:07
do anything else besides Blue.

spk_1:   1:7:09
No, I like the blue Black. Well,

spk_0:   1:7:11
what about what I'd like?

spk_1:   1:7:12
Doesn't matter. It's my house. It's my signature.

spk_0:   1:7:15
It's our studio.

spk_1:   1:7:16
All right. We'll put a couple pictures up, okay? Of May, Uh, I'm gonna put this morning. We have is too. I'll give you 1/4 of a wall to put some, like, famous psychologist pictures.

spk_0:   1:7:29
Can we have a Freud picture, please? I'll do a frightening, but really, he's like my favorite man

spk_1:   1:7:35
Boy pictures on you. When you get the fried picture, I'll put it up.

spk_0:   1:7:38
Oh, you have a nice one. That's because

spk_1:   1:7:40
I know I'm not gonna order a fried picture. I'm gonna get like Red Sox on one wall. I'm gonna have a behind. Only on another way.

spk_0:   1:7:47
Hold on a minute. The project Kuwait has many factors. They have nutrition, wellness and psychology. You need to have pictures of all three. The representation of all three, but it's gonna be not about you. It's Hey, a studio for that project. Kuwait is

spk_1:   1:8:04
gonna be a coolness studio.

spk_0:   1:8:05
No, you want to do socks and you want to do caps and all this, do it in your

spk_1:   1:8:09
bedroom. Redsox Boston writes.

spk_0:   1:8:11
I don't know. Of course I know whites off course. I'm saying this project has nothing to do with baseball.

spk_1:   1:8:18
Do you know the ambassador? The ambassador is, um, the lady that contacted us when the ambassador came on the show, they wanted to do the show in the same room that had the hats hanging on the wall.

spk_0:   1:8:29
Right, But no longer we will have that because this is hot. I know that this is the project Kuwait podcast. Yeah, Agenzia out circuit tux. Fine, but nothing else for you. Everything has to be about the project. Okay. You promise?

spk_1:   1:8:47
I'm gonna have

spk_0:   1:8:48
If I went, This is how we're gonna do it. Oh, hell,

spk_1:   1:8:50
no. You get 1/4 of a wall if you will

spk_0:   1:8:53
get some psychologist stuff on there. Like what? Freud Pictures? Yes.

spk_1:   1:8:58
Okay. I'll agree with a free picture

spk_0:   1:8:59
or a brain picture. Or like we have a

spk_1:   1:9:03
football picture that was the best psychology movie ever made, and we could do that. Do you ever watch? What about Bob?

spk_0:   1:9:08
Yeah, of course.

spk_1:   1:9:10
That was a great movie.

spk_0:   1:9:11
It's been a while, though.

spk_1:   1:9:12
I think I'm gonna watch it next weekend.

spk_0:   1:9:15
Maybe I should really want

spk_1:   1:9:16
It's a good movie. You should have your class watching too.

spk_0:   1:9:19
I thought I know I did. I think one of the project was to

spk_1:   1:9:21
watch. It was ah o c d right. I don't remember is no longer.

spk_0:   1:9:26
So. You had anxieties. I guess I'll see you.

spk_1:   1:9:28
Yeah. So see, he wouldn't leave his house. He wanted everything particularly clean. And

spk_0:   1:9:33
and then he had ritual. Yeah,

spk_1:   1:9:35
I think it was O C d. I gotta watch the movie again, But not claustrophobic. No, no, it wasn't claustrophobia. No, Carrie and I have to watch it again. But it was a good movie. Funny as hell. I love Bill Murray.

spk_0:   1:9:45
Yeah. All right. Well, folks, I like the 10 myths. Still you 10 minutes was going to say it was a good

spk_1:   1:9:53
told. You gotta pay me. Pay me to write this shit forever. Your shows will be like number one. We'll have a numeral uno

spk_0:   1:10:00
can be number one because of me.

spk_1:   1:10:02
You could tell the TV people they can get in touch with May through the project. Kuwait 30,000. Katie. No, I'll go to 300 cause they're cheap. Anyone City 300 will get them about. You know

spk_0:   1:10:13
what they'll say to be sure. Doctors let him. You pay him?

spk_1:   1:10:17
I don't write.

spk_0:   1:10:18
They probably will. You, but did. And that that

spk_1:   1:10:21
that only that will only cover 10 minutes of my creativity. Kid, You Manson? Yeah, like, dude, I'm expensive.

spk_0:   1:10:28
Unless we put on

spk_1:   1:10:29
a show. That's why I don't train people either.

spk_0:   1:10:31
Let's do our own show, and then we don't have to worry about. And then we'll be in competition. My either

spk_1:   1:10:35
show. Oh, I think that we would beat it.

spk_0:   1:10:38
You know, I think we

spk_1:   1:10:39
would down, so I'm pretty cool. Okay, let's see, Doctor, these like, cheap man. Hey, dude, like, uh, I'm the friggin man. All right?

spk_0:   1:10:48
I see that freaking man that's later

spk_1:   1:10:53
on that, dealing with my insecurities. We'll talk about that another. Because most people that do say that shit are very insecure.

spk_0:   1:11:00
That's right. Exactly. I hate that over confidence. doesn't work.

spk_1:   1:11:05
It really doesn't. We're doing a show on confidence, but we have to do an intimidation

spk_0:   1:11:09
and give tips on how to be confident there. Right away. Maddie way.

spk_1:   1:11:14
No. You know, I've had someone interview say to me after the universe was like I wasn't sure I wanted to hire you because you dance that fine line between being cocky and confident and I really didn't know. I think she was threatened by my confidence. Yeah, that was it. I

spk_0:   1:11:31
wasn't calling. You could come across this car. I don't know. I really never seen us cocky. But you are sarcastic. Sometimes people don't understand. Your sons come.

spk_1:   1:11:40
But what I speak business wise, it's comfort. I'm very confident

spk_0:   1:11:43
coming of the information. What? Some people Confidence it can see. It is cocky. So that's our next show.

spk_1:   1:11:48
That is very nature. So everybody thank you for listening. Don't forget to leave us a rating in review And make sure you go on to the project. Instagram stories and vote for May. Vote for Mandy. Me. Me. Alright. You vote from Maddie. Probably went on the show to No, you won't. I will. Bribe. Okay. Thanks for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed it, please head overto iTunes to subscribe rate and leave a review. You can also find us on Instagram at the project Kuwait. Thank you and join us next time.