Psyched with Dr. D: Handling Negative Emotions “ being cathartic” And Tips on How to Quit Smoking

I did. You remember yet? Hey, hey. If you ever thought about expressing your negative emotions now we had a debate here, and we wanted to know, Is it really all about venting it in a physical way or expressing it verbally? So we're talking about catharsis on this show, so it depends what you think. I was arguing with Maddie the whole time.

spk_1           

Now, most athletes might agree with me on working it out on the field. Are working it out at the gym because some of us are reserved in hitting a punching bag isn't the ideal way, but maybe going for a long run to organize your thoughts. Anyways, we get into this debate, it goes through to about minute 45. And then I think we go on to talking about quitting smoking

spk_0           

and this steps to quitting smoking steps to critics

spk_1           

because it's an easy fix. We start that conversation, I think in minute 50. But stay tuned for the whole episode because it all ties in to each other. And

spk_0           

and I think this is really gonna be helpful because there is no one way or the others correct or wrong. I mean, we were not trying to say one way is better than the other, but that there are factors that you have to consider when you want to express negative emotions. So if you want to learn all about catharsis, this is the show for you.
of. What's so funny is you didn't give me your food. You gave me your wife so

spk_1           

I don't have any food. My wife gets food delivered. She's a power lifter, so she's like she needs her food.

spk_0           

Oh my God,

spk_1           

if she doesn't eat, she gets angry,

spk_0           

really gets her food delivers. That's a sweet

spk_1           

Well, there you go. So now now it should be a little

spk_0           

better. So your wife sound. I hope she's not gonna come back and say, Where's my son? Ways? Because I know how you are. Give me something and say no. She doesn't rush is not gonna eat it. And then later on tell me what Hey, is looking for that turkey sandwiches that you ate.

spk_1           

This is gonna be like

spk_0           

you gave it to Dr Dig.

spk_1           

I'm gonna be like, Wow. Yeah, he's hungry. We got no food in the house. We're moving.

spk_0           

Yeah, that's number. You had enough More than I have.

spk_1           

You know, your family when you come over to my house and my house is in this state, all right? Like, just so everybody knows there's boxes around. There's, like, closed school boxes. All kinds of crazy stuff is moving the city's doing across.

spk_0           

You know, when I move, I'm a little bit more organized in your How do you know where the stuff is gonna go?

spk_1           

This is organized boxes or going to the new apartment. Okay, Because they're like, if they rip new apartment's literally across.

spk_0           

I love the way you like movie, you know, really moving just right across the

spk_1           

street. All right. And then a plastic containers, those air going to my house in Buffalo.

spk_0           

Ah, this. So this is how you're like

spk_1           

Yeah, that's what ena

Transcript

spk_1:   0:00
Theo Project brought. Wait, what you learn? This one's on you.

spk_0:   0:11
I did. You remember yet? Hey, hey. If you ever thought about expressing your negative emotions now we had a debate here, and we wanted to know, Is it really all about venting it in a physical way or expressing it verbally? So we're talking about catharsis on this show, so it depends what you think. I was arguing with Maddie the whole time.

spk_1:   0:37
Now, most athletes might agree with me on working it out on the field. Are working it out at the gym because some of us are reserved in hitting a punching bag isn't the ideal way, but maybe going for a long run to organize your thoughts. Anyways, we get into this debate, it goes through to about minute 45. And then I think we go on to talking about quitting smoking

spk_0:   0:58
and this steps to quitting smoking steps to critics

spk_1:   1:01
because it's an easy fix. We start that conversation, I think in minute 50. But stay tuned for the whole episode because it all ties in to each other. And

spk_0:   1:11
and I think this is really gonna be helpful because there is no one way or the others correct or wrong. I mean, we were not trying to say one way is better than the other, but that there are factors that you have to consider when you want to express negative emotions. So if you want to learn all about catharsis, this is the show for you.

spk_1:   1:28
And don't forget to leave us a rating and review and tell your friends and family about the show, especially if you think they need psychological help. All this and more welcome everybody of the show I gave Dr Dinka my wife sandwich out

spk_0:   1:42
of. What's so funny is you didn't give me your food. You gave me your wife so

spk_1:   1:46
I don't have any food. My wife gets food delivered. She's a power lifter, so she's like she needs her food.

spk_0:   1:52
Oh my God,

spk_1:   1:53
if she doesn't eat, she gets angry,

spk_0:   1:55
really gets her food delivers. That's a sweet

spk_1:   1:58
Well, there you go. So now now it should be a little

spk_0:   2:00
better. So your wife sound. I hope she's not gonna come back and say, Where's my son? Ways? Because I know how you are. Give me something and say no. She doesn't rush is not gonna eat it. And then later on tell me what Hey, is looking for that turkey sandwiches that you ate.

spk_1:   2:14
This is gonna be like

spk_0:   2:15
you gave it to Dr Dig.

spk_1:   2:16
I'm gonna be like, Wow. Yeah, he's hungry. We got no food in the house. We're moving.

spk_0:   2:21
Yeah, that's number. You had enough More than I have.

spk_1:   2:23
You know, your family when you come over to my house and my house is in this state, all right? Like, just so everybody knows there's boxes around. There's, like, closed school boxes. All kinds of crazy stuff is moving the city's doing across.

spk_0:   2:37
You know, when I move, I'm a little bit more organized in your How do you know where the stuff is gonna go?

spk_1:   2:42
This is organized boxes or going to the new apartment. Okay, Because they're like, if they rip new apartment's literally across.

spk_0:   2:49
I love the way you like movie, you know, really moving just right across the

spk_1:   2:52
street. All right. And then a plastic containers, those air going to my house in Buffalo.

spk_0:   2:57
Ah, this. So this is how you're like

spk_1:   2:59
Yeah, that's what enables them. Yeah, So that way

spk_0:   3:02
do you have enough of this classical? Oh, yeah, definitely, Definitely. So the house And what? Frank gets the plastic

spk_1:   3:08
because yeah, because it's more less storage. So I know it's safe in the plastic container verses in a box where lizards dust all kinds of crap to get it. But plastic. They can't get in there making it.

spk_0:   3:19
Is the house ready?

spk_1:   3:20
That's gonna be ready in a week or two, maybe a month. They should have. The electrical wiring done so far is not the houses dot

spk_0:   3:28
What? Can we just have an episode there?

spk_1:   3:30
We can't episode for a weekend.

spk_0:   3:33
Yeah, I want to

spk_1:   3:33
comfort. We definitely cover where there's a swimming pool.

spk_0:   3:35
Really? Yeah. Well functioning. Yeah,

spk_1:   3:38
it's not up and ready yet. It's going to be up and ready as soon as we get electricity as soon as we get electricity. That's when they put all the light fixtures in that will take a week. They paint the entire house. That will take another week, and then the cleanup will be another week. As I told them, I was like Look, have a little sandy area inside the walls of my house because D. J likes to play in the sand.

spk_0:   3:59
Yeah, I

spk_1:   3:59
figure I'm gonna put like, a little jungle gym out there. Something

spk_0:   4:02
that'll be fine.

spk_1:   4:02
Right? And I said, Look, clean up with sand. I don't want any nails in there. Yeah, and so

spk_0:   4:08
I hope they do that Eso by February, maybe like liberation,

spk_1:   4:12
we shall. I'm hoping by liberation Day we'd

spk_0:   4:14
know. How often will you guys go? I mean, like, for people who don't know where what fries? It's like, what, 45 minutes from? Yeah, it's about flicking the desert we call it.

spk_1:   4:22
Yeah, it's like it's in the desert. It's over by the Saudi border. It's about 45 minutes away from the city. It's quieter out there. All the farms were out there,

spk_0:   4:30
Joe. Yeah, that is where the form, that's what What from uses a lot of farms. I have no idea. I've only taken my kids ones. There was this farm. We went where they had seen animals and they were like fresh vegetables. We liked it. It was like, uh, we went in February. You really don't want to go in? It's really hard. So it was nice weather

spk_1:   4:49
some of those farms out there, gorgeous homes It's so true. And I'm like, Dude, how's this a farm? If you have a lake in the middle, think. Seriously. You have a lake.

spk_0:   4:59
How often are they using it? Like can you use you work for a house when it's a summer? No. Yeah,

spk_1:   5:04
I can use. I'm gonna have a swimming pool.

spk_0:   5:05
Oh, it's true. It's almost all of them. Have swimming pool?

spk_1:   5:08
No, Like mine's a house house like a living house. Is that you know,

spk_0:   5:12
you don't have anything that you gonna make into a form like, can you? No. No,

spk_1:   5:17
I only had well, not on Lee, but I had 600 meters to build on its under meter space. The house itself is 6 40 square square meters, so it's like ground floor, first floor, and then half of four on the roof. Okay. And then I have a two bedroom apartment and I have a one bedroom studio on the roof, which was I'm still I might rent it.

spk_0:   5:40
Could you really run here? You could rent a fear in the city. But who's gonna Renton Mafra? The way you can pay me

spk_1:   5:46
now. The oil companies,

spk_0:   5:47
the oil Yeah, Cos of start production. Then they're like, Oh, that's true. But then in that if they're in the studio on the roof, they don't have anything to do with you, right? No. Like you don't have to see

spk_1:   5:57
them separate entrances. Everything. I

spk_0:   6:00
Oh, he hooked it up. Well, you've been thinking.

spk_1:   6:02
Well, originally, I was gonna be for my mother.

spk_0:   6:05
Okay? We've talked that

spk_1:   6:07
way, talked about mother issue and, like, you know, hey, and my mother

spk_0:   6:10
even thinking originally, is giving for your mother. Well, I think that's likely thinking has got me for my mother is No

spk_1:   6:16
way. You gotta do what you gotta

spk_0:   6:17
do. I know that thought would have never came to me. I'd rather have my mom lives somewhere. I'll pay the rent to have her rent a place. And where I am on a regular basis. I don't know

spk_1:   6:28
if she ever wanted to make the apartment, was there, she could have at it. I said, it's up to you.

spk_0:   6:32
Okay? She

spk_1:   6:32
said no. So I was like, All right, fine. Then I'll

spk_0:   6:34
probably never know what from now on, if I was retired, I would live in water, ate the city. It's too hot in the summer.

spk_1:   6:43
But if you have a swimming pool and in the right conditions like if you have a swimming pool And by the way, it's a lot cooler and Wolfowitz like five degrees cooler.

spk_0:   6:50
Are you saying?

spk_1:   6:51
Yeah, Lefty's five degrees school where I work? Yeah, it's literally five degrees cooler. When I'm out of work, Come back. Wait. And it's like if it's 50 equates 45 there. If it's 45 Quake, it's 40 there are

spk_0:   7:03
30. So what was Mom's reason for saying no to hear you offering or something for free?

spk_1:   7:07
Too far. And plus she likes the bitching complaint. Oh, just give her another day so far, though, because watch, I'll rent us.

spk_0:   7:13
Still working? No, she was tired, so she was too far for

spk_1:   7:16
too far for her. But watch. I'll rent it out and then she'll go. See, I knew Maddie was lying apart before you, but look, now he's renting it out. She's so gonna do that.

spk_0:   7:26
Ah, and then what? Do you know? How you gonna deal with this Stress are saying Say, I told you so, Mom, you should have her sign a contract saying, Mom, I offer. Did this at the like. You think we owe that? Stays there like me? No, but I think with my mom the same thing because you like you offer them something and you say you want to do this. And then later on, they forget. And then they act like you've never offered it to them, or they've never really offered hell. And then you feel like it. Then you have to remind them. Look, Mom, I did this in this in this, but then they don't remember. You did this in this. You know, I got to a point in my life. Forget it. I don't offer. I don't remind them. It's better because ultimately the act like you haven't done anything.

spk_1:   8:07
Yeah, Your mom's not like mine. Mine's like, if I don't tell her. Are you kidding me? If I don't offer my sister doesn't offer something like it's World War III show. Penny. Each one of us against each other. Just the words like because I get a phone call from my sister saying, why wouldn't you take Mummy tow the airport? I'm like, dude, she never asked. Uh, why don't you ask her? She needed a ride. I was like, Well, she didn't ask. I'm not gonna ask her and beggar every time I Oh, do you need a ride or do you need this? Uh, like she's a grown adult. She can ask that hard.

spk_0:   8:38
That's right. So, uh, but you always get in trouble. Are you the favourite? Though? I was

spk_1:   8:43
the favorite. I don't think so anymore. I think it's his fault.

spk_0:   8:46
It's his fault. You're like a and now I know you don't like read the beginning.

spk_1:   8:52
I told my mother today I was like, Yeah, so we're thinking of renting a place in Boston. It's a little bit lower. The cost. It has four rooms. You're more than welcome. She was like, for this summer. Yeah, summer. She was like, Well, I don't know. It would be quite awkward issues. It would be quite awkward. And I'm like, Oh, you mean with hey, I like what you think you could be Several under one roof

spk_0:   9:12
Does not talk.

spk_1:   9:14
No, they dio. I mean,

spk_0:   9:16
like, what's their conversation? Like hair

spk_1:   9:18
really tried with my Like he tried a lot.

spk_0:   9:22
Your mother doesn't even like me. And I'm the nice person you confined.

spk_1:   9:25
Well, you told her to her face what she didn't want to hear.

spk_0:   9:28
Well, what can I do? It's my job.

spk_1:   9:30
I called you here to do a better

spk_0:   9:31
job. Obviously, I failed is

spk_1:   9:36
she's the type of person that's a overly sensitive, and she's just detached from reality with certain things. Especially when it comes to emotion. Yeah, like I think my mom's given me two memorable hugs. That's about it, too. Yeah. My dad said I love you to me once. Uh, well, yeah. Yeah, Well, he said it to me. I remember it like it was like, the frigging fourth of July. Yeah, like, 12 or 13. Ah, and

spk_0:   10:04
and it never repeated itself. It was a bad hug. My mother. That's dad's, huh?

spk_1:   10:09
No, Dad's was just I love you. That was it. That's the only time I heard. You

spk_0:   10:13
know, he didn't repeat it. Like, if it was like, if it worked, you he got the right reaction. I don't know.

spk_1:   10:18
It's a guy thing. You know? You

spk_0:   10:20
put himself bondable. He told you I love you. And then he's, like, well up and realize all this stuff for me. You guys have spotted headed

spk_1:   10:26
on the show, right? Yeah. You guys don't ask

spk_0:   10:30
him this stuff. We'll ask you about Why? Express your feet. See

spk_1:   10:33
everybody. This is what happens when I'm not on the show

spk_0:   10:35
way wanted you on this show. You're busy, Mom. Todo

spk_1:   10:41
eso mom to hugs

spk_0:   10:43
and it never repeated.

spk_1:   10:44
No, she's got like, she's giving me, like, one hug. When I graduated

spk_0:   10:48
from high school team in college

spk_1:   10:49
college. Sorry to college. Graduate one for my graduate. And then she gave me a hug and patted me on the back when d J. Was sick when he was first born. Okay, so empathize. Yeah, But other than that, she's always been like my American grandmother. Yeah, who showed her affection with spending money. Well, you know where well

spk_0:   11:11
our team are like, What is that? What is that like? I didn't know that was the thing. I know that people express their emotions with just giving money, our giving buying gift because they don't know how to express it verbally. So they do it by action. But that's what normal is not normal because the ideas is that I don't know why. They think that's a substitution of expressing emotions, even though a lot of times you'll see it and you and kids will say, I don't want you to do anything for me I just want youto talk to me or share emotions. But there's a lot of people that feel awkward about expressing emotions. Yeah, and because they feel awkward or vulnerable, it's weird for them. And if you haven't liked, been taught when you're growing up, like if you will never heard emotions or you've never heard your parents telling you they love you're giving you hogs, you find these kind of expression are very, very awkward to do. And it's much easier. I mean, much easier to go on by order, something. So this for D. J. This is for whatever. And then you think this is a replacement of emotion.

spk_1:   12:07
So do you think it's more of a them finding their own catharsis in the situation? And the way you see what I see, what you see really

spk_0:   12:16
did talk about catharsis today. But look, everybody, you know how to define it. Yeah, I think

spk_1:   12:23
this is basically when you do something that gives you an emotional release, that kind of gives you the gives you the relief you were looking for in something. It gives you peace of mind, I would say so. It's a form of expression. Yeah, it's a former. That's how I would defense how you define my definition of it. Now to some people, they might see it as displacement.

spk_0:   12:45
Yeah, I mean, more and more research is saying that it's a lot of times people using catharsis to display, and we talk a lot about catharsis when it comes to a negative. Emotions like anger. Yeah, and so that's why we you're not displacing it in a negative way like you could exercise. So you know how back in the days were like, If you have a lot of anger or resent man or some negative feelings, what do you do is that you should go and punch about.

spk_1:   13:10
So Google's definition. It's Google's position, the process of releasing and thereby providing relief from strong or repressed emotions. Now see, I agree when it's someone shopping in buying things, because there are repercussions for trying to buy love, not by love, but because then there's that emotional detachment between you and your Children. Okay, like kind of what my mother does. He show bias gifts or whatever. And that to her is her showing us her love, Which God bless her. She does a lot of life. I ever asked you to buy something she'll buy. But Thio, give me that emotional support. It's just not there. So when you continuously do that, yes, it starts to breed. You know, um, what's called Stan Word? That's cycle. Yeah, they're the repetitive cycle that goes on of buying something and then well, okay, well, that's not enough because I need the emotional side for it. And then if they don't provide the emotional side, you're left in the lurch. See what I'm

spk_0:   14:10
saying? Forming catharsis is like It's an expression off emotions like Not that whale like let's say you are been you had a fight and you have a lot of like anger, resentment or you had a bad day today and someone pissed you off. So the idea is that catharsis would be like to release that emotions and negative emotions into something more positive, like exercising. So unless your mom has these intense emotions of like that, she needs to express and she doesn't know how to express it, then for her, then that would be like and I don't even know. I don't think it will be a displacement because what she's doing, she's expressing her love towards you. But she's no, we're doing it physically, stewing it materially, realistically, right.

spk_1:   14:51
But that provides a form of expression and relief. And for her, the repressed emotions of maybe, Oh, I'm not being an emotionally parent. That's emotionally there. But I can provide something else.

spk_0:   15:04
Yeah, it could be. I mean, you and I, we're like, we're just a green in the sense that this catharsis really work. Yeah, And for me, I don't feel like it worked. So if I am, like, really like I was telling you, I had a fight with this assistant yesterday. I was enraged. Usually, I'm not What is, like, the idea of like, you feel like that the person is in front of you just took advantage off you because you're busy or you didn't check up or because you trusted the person. I shouldn't be. You're my sister and I should be checking on you. And then I was realizing so I had so much angriest, sturdy and you should see some of these voice messages. I was leaving that it's like and And there are in Arabic. Yeah, you Dr D I easily imagine a man have a ball of and you ankle someone for not doing so. No, it was like, Nope, It's what got me more angry is like So I thought, well, expressing because, you know, catharsis is more about expressing your emotions, right? Some thinking I'm gonna expo rest my emotion to this guy and realize. But then the more he was responding and making it look like it was my fault or he was making it look like No, I told you, you didn't realize this which was B s, right. He was trying to cover himself and the more he was trying to make excuses, the more angry I was getting. So And then I was thinking to myself, it's not really helping me, trying to tell him what how I feel about him, because the more I was saying that you took advantage of a B and C, you never told me about this. I trusted you. The more he was making it look like I was the crazy one. And the more I was getting angry, that sense of a catharsis. It didn't really help me expressing my anger. I got me more angry and then I was thinking, And then there are other people, like, Well, if you're so pissed off, go do something like go take a jog for me. If I took a job, it's gonna make me more excited, right? It will relieve some of my body will make me more excited. And I don't really think that this was going to help me express my anger using physical activities. So to me, I feel like Okay, so talking for me, if you're gonna do catharsis and if you're going to release any emotion that you wanna express, you should express it verbally, because putting it in other things, like exercising or trying to punch a bag, remember? Like, Oh, you're you're much younger. But no, I hate when people punch a bag or go punch your pillow scream. Oh, no, no, that's another thing. Why don't you just go scream? Look, if I go outside like yesterday, I'm telling you, I've been that angry because I was disappointed, and I really trusted this person and and some of the things that you know me. They were silly things because, like, you know, don't take advantage and then pretend like you un pretend like listening. He was pretending like he was right or wrong. It's obvious what I understand is like it is obvious. And the more I was explaining it in different tone, different dialogue, off Arabic, different English, the more you was coming back because he was feeling guilty and twisting it. So the more I was getting angry and I was thinking of myself. Catharsis is about expressing. So that way you should express it, deal with it and move on well, expressing it to him. It didn't help me, to be honest, everything. That's why I think catharsis doesn't really.

spk_1:   18:16
But everybody's different. I mean, teach the teach their own. And I always say there's no one size fits all like every single human being is so uniquely different from one another that my emotional processing is completely different than your emotional processing for me. I know that when I was in college, for instance, or high school, going to the batting cage was cathartic. Going to the batting cage if I had a bad day or if I had something bad happen going to the batting cage and hitting a bunch of baseballs unifies pissed off. It was cathartic for me or even punching a bag, because I'm getting rid of some of that pent up frustration and emotion out on the bag, and I'm not doing it in a different way. You remember me? I had anger issues.

spk_0:   19:00
Yeah, that's because I have anger

spk_1:   19:01
issues. Yeah, but not no. Nowhere near

spk_0:   19:03
I was gonna ask. How do you know, by punching a bag are going into the bath and hitting ball is going to Really? How do you know that really was the one that helped

spk_1:   19:14
you? Because I felt good after it. I felt good Land

spk_0:   19:16
did not come today.

spk_1:   19:17
No, it didn't come back again. Say, I had a really bad day or I got into a fight with my boss and I felt helpless. And I had all this pent up emotion that was just bottled inside. I had to do something physical. Maybe it's an athlete thing. Maybe a lot of athletes express themselves this way, but that was my way of releasing it. to some people coloring adult coloring books. Air like a thing now because there's a catharsis in coloring. You just feel at peace and calm and whatever else

spk_0:   19:45
but see what I don't understand or I don't

spk_1:   19:48
agree with your right art adult calling. By the way, you really like Hillary. You have

spk_0:   19:52
it. I don't like painting coloring nothing. I don't like

spk_1:   19:55
it either, but something about drawing inside the lines because I didn't do it is

spk_0:   19:59
okay with me Off more, see, in just a ball of emotions. You gonna help, you need to do CrossFit. I think you would enjoy CrossFit. Do you know that? I have to tell you. The other day I was out, I was at a gathering and then this girl came up to me, says, Do you do CrossFit? And then, of course, I said, Of course I do, like, you know. So she was like commenting about how good I looked, just like you look like the one person that does CrossFit. And I said at first I thought, You know, me, just, like pay along with them, like here I do. It's fine, Like

spk_1:   20:31
we're trying to think of all the stuff.

spk_0:   20:32
I gotta throw some terminology, says she does about lying right thing, like, Really, Who's your trainer? Where do you do it? And that's what I call came out. I said, I have a trainer. I don't go to the gym. This is really, like, bullshit. I do have a trade. I don't do CrossFit. I'm like, I don't really do it, but, you know, somebody told me I should try it. It's just like if you do, please let me know. But you look like you do cry. That's a good couple. There was a very good

spk_1:   21:01
That is a good compliment.

spk_0:   21:03
I mean, it was all sad, but she didn't really see it was dark. But here's the thing,

spk_1:   21:07
though, like all right, I'll give you a good

spk_0:   21:08
example. Maybe a CrossFit will help me, but I'm telling you this punch the bag. Do this. Three homers, shouting Seriously, help Came up with this

spk_1:   21:19
to scream it out. Look. Oh my God! Again. Dr. D. Teach their own Look, you're right. There's been a lot of research out there is saying that suggested that it doesn't work. However, there's a lot of anecdote, all right, that does suggest that it does work now is one right and one wrong? Yeah, me personally know, to me, it's whatever works for you if punching a bag work so that you don't go blow up and beat some poor dude up on the side of the road, I think go ahead and do it or yell at your wife and kid after having a bad day at work for me going to the gym after work, my drive to the gym after work and going to work. Gonna work out after work, I come home. Usually I'm in a really good mood because the shit I dealt with their I've already worked it out in my mind. It's like, All right, I've worked out Sorry about that. So my kid, just Brandon

spk_0:   22:10
gave me a hug. Cute. That's catharsis that gave you a hug. He told you that he misses you. See, I think this is the true catharsis is when something physical happens that his expression of a minute

spk_1:   22:24
That's where I was at. So do you have anecdote and then you have the research right? We can't always say that anecdote is wrong, because anecdote at times can be right and that from what our grandmothers have said, what our coaches have said, like Go punch bag or go for a run, run it out, walk it off. Those are things that have stood the test of time over research. To be fair, no offense toe like psychology and research because at the end of the day, everything except for absolute science is theory, Right,

spk_0:   22:54
right. But research is not saying it doesn't work, is saying that now we're realizing that is not just exercising or punching the bag, that another component has to be added. Which means expressing talking about it,

spk_1:   23:07
because I agree what

spk_0:   23:08
you have, what you notice in some of this research. What they're saying is that before they were saying that if you are angry or have a lot of negative emotions, you have to walk it off or express it, and it stopped there. But now we're realizing that with ability to talk about what made you angry, it will make you much healthier person than just walk it up. Because before kids were like, we tell them, walk it off or go run the track or Gore scream. But then we never really asked him to process what were they feeling? And now we're saying in atleast in therapy were saying, Yes, you could still I mean, of course, you can still access, so you have to and you could still use a lot of these physical activities if you want to scream, shout, shoot, whatever. But ultimately, what really makes more sense is to do it in combination off the physical expression and the verbal expression that you have to talk about what is bothering you, cause a lot of research is saying Now let's say you're angry or like me. I was pissed off yesterday. And then let's say I go and I walk it off, right? Yeah, we're fine. I walked it off. I ran whatever. I'm exhausted. What research is saying is that the next time there's something else that's gonna piss me off, is going to trigger my anger, which is also going to trigger the anger I had with this person. So it means that the anger is still there, hasn't been process, has just been displaced into something else without really processing. So to make it a better process, go do your exercise punch your bag. Do you cross fit but ultimately have an opportunity to sit within yourself or with your therapist or write it down? What really made you angry about this process? So for me, with this person, I was there. What really got me angry is because then I was thinking to myself what really got me angry Snow, like the first time been taken advantage of. Maybe because I was disappointed if it's felt like I was lied to taken advantage off. See, this is the like, it's something really bothers me because I feel like people really take advantage off nice people home persona. And because you're nice, people feel like that's the green light of why they should take advantage of

spk_1:   25:22
you especially especially over here, especially something especially equate. You get a lot of that here. Like, if you're nice to someone, it's like, Okay, well, let me see how far I can push. Let me see how much money I can get out.

spk_0:   25:32
Just so sad.

spk_1:   25:33
It really is because then you just turn in tow. No, I'm not gonna do it anymore, you know. That's me now

spk_0:   25:39
and then you become worse like it goes black and white like if you I don't have, I mean because of this guy and any other opportunities off where I felt like people take advantage of you. Now I feel like I'm never going to be nice to anyone. And then that's not right either, because there are gonna be people that really deserve for me to be nice. But now I'm gonna take this decision because I can decide on who the one deserves my niceness. And who doesn't?

spk_1:   26:03
No, no, I agree with you.

spk_0:   26:04
So anyways, the feelings I felt now I could have walked it over Or do this. Who says that the next time I get angry or the next time I'm taking advantage of which is similar to this situation, it will not trigger the same feelings.

spk_1:   26:18
I see what you're saying. I can see what you're saying, and my statement is still the same. I mean it completely different. And you know, it is that I'm convinced, because some people yes, they need to talk it out like hehe. She needs to talk it out sometimes. Like, you know, if they're shiny, say women

spk_0:   26:36
need to talk it out.

spk_1:   26:37
Maybe maybe because men have pent up frustrations and emotions because we're told to do that as a kid. Wear told to put your bag. We're told to dio athletes, Air told toe, Work it out on the field. One thing a coach always said you'd be like whatever baggage you're carrying from home Leave it outside the lines

spk_0:   26:54
It was so hard to do anyways.

spk_1:   26:56
But as an athlete, when you get to a certain level and do that, you're able to see where you can. You're able to switch off from that. So, like I get it, I get the part of what you're saying. Bye. Yes, go at, exercise those demons out and then talk about it. But I'm also saying is a lot of high level athletes or even normal athletes like Bill that play college ball or play. You know, a lot of, you know, competitive sports. A lot of them don't have that type of personality to talk it out. I know a lot of

spk_0:   27:25
Eladio athletes. They they should have that personality,

spk_1:   27:29
but maybe for them, when they do work out and they do, that's that's their catharsis. That's what brings them a piece and they're able to deal with that situation.

spk_0:   27:38
But that's what I'm saying is I don't really think that ever reach that 100% peace nous because they actually, if you have used your physical strength to be able to express emotions that were that have to do with anger, sadness, you know, they're typical emotions.

spk_1:   27:55
Yeah, No, I agree.

spk_0:   27:56
Then it means that you have not really been able to X because emotions the only way to really express them is to talk about them. So I feel like Yes, you're right. And I think that's the problem. What if they have someone to

spk_1:   28:08
talk to? Like what if I

spk_0:   28:09
write a journal? I write it out, I may board it may be my best friend,

spk_1:   28:14
but maybe them working out like riding a bike or running. Maybe that's them working it out in their head.

spk_0:   28:20
But then cognitively, what happens? You're You're only working it out physically. You're expressing it? Yeah, because cognitively, what do you do like, how should I cognitively now restructure? The idea that this guy or this assistant that I had that took advantage is not all the other assistance that I will have How do I restructure it? Cognitively,

spk_1:   28:43
I can give you an example. I'll give you a non crossfit example. I'll give you a running. Okay, So if I'm doing a five K run since and I want to, I'm angry. I get angry after work. My boss yells at me, I can't say anything back. I have to pent up. I have to, you know, holding my emotions. So now I'm carrying these emotions on my shoulder. Sometimes when I'm running, I go. What happened to me today is not half as bad as the shit I'm doing right now. You know, when you get to that point of quit or keep going, that's one way of doing it or just the fact that I'm running and I'm running it out and I get to think about it as I run like Okay, life can be a lot worse. What happened today wasn't that bad because of a B and C. Sometimes it helps someone think a lot clear because you don't want to think about the pain that you're in through the exercise that you're going through, or like if you're hitting baseballs. For me, hitting a baseball was like the ultimate catharsis. I felt great afterwards because I was putting that energy into the ball and I was thinking about it. All right, Well, that's great. I'm feeling good. Now, see, today wasn't so bad, you know? Now I'm feeling great about it today. Yeah, it sucked. My boss yelled at me. He did a B and C. Right now, it's just me and the ball. Right now. I get to think about this and structurally break it down. That's how I manage. But if I go on, I'm just going ham on a boxing bag and not thinking about it. And I'm just trying to think of punching my boss in the face. That's where I can see your perspective of it being an issue, because then you're just building more frustration,

spk_0:   30:18
right? Because we all know from the frustration

spk_1:   30:20
that makes sense. Oh,

spk_0:   30:21
no, I understand what you're saying is that but the idea is is that that pent up frustration? You You're saying that

spk_1:   30:28
a microphone up a little bit, it's hitting your scarf.

spk_0:   30:31
Is it good? I mean, the thing is, is that

spk_1:   30:32
by the way, my wife has the same scar she does It's really nice scarf.

spk_0:   30:37
I left the colors. And where'd you get it

spk_1:   30:38
from? Kuwait are outside. Quit. I got hers from Morocco.

spk_0:   30:41
Have no idea. I think it might have been gift. I never buy anything,

spk_1:   30:45
right? Probably got at the same place. It was, uh, trying to deter you from the cover of weight challenged, you know? But I'm not changing what you're saying. Agree?

spk_0:   30:58
I'm even frustration theory if you think about it before, we used to think it's linear, right? You're frustrated, you're angry, you have some object. You'll shoot someone hit somewhere, right? And now we're realizing the frustration really has a different way of expressing its up. So it could be frustrated, and you could do nothing about it. Get and forget about it. Or you could be frustrated and angry, and then you can take it out on yourself. Now we're also realizing that there are people that are frustrated and angry are taking this anger toward themselves, which is so side or hurting themselves. Cutters, whatever. And then we also have these other people who are frustrated, and then they go to directly to the source of their frustration right, which means if your boss yelled at you wherever you go and you fight with your books and we also know that they're people that displaced because they'll never have the ability or the guts to be able to face the person who is really making them frustrated. So therefore, they displace it on people that they think they're safe.

spk_1:   31:58
Yeah, like family members, members and so forth, which you see a lot of in quake, which is the Middle East, I would say,

spk_0:   32:04
or that domestic workers Did you hear about this other domestic worker? No. Well, apparently yesterday or two days ago, a domestic worker was killed. What? Really? That's right. Okay, Amanda. Wow. Having how pent up frustration. I mean, I don't know what the issue was. I was trying to look it up to read it. And who told me that my helper. Oh, madam, this would happen in a really that's so scary for them. I was wondering why she's like just watching the news was like, Where's why are you the kids that are here, where you just like go do something fun? It's just like No. And, you know, her family is calling her to check up on her because you know, it's a people here. It's like it. Yeah, as a community, it's just like what? You know what happened. It's like, you know, this. I mean, I don't know who it was, but the ideas Is that the girl? I don't know. She did something wrong in ah domestic. The one we call them the three of the employee. The employer. The idea is is that I don't know. They got mad at her. Whatever. How does one go from like, you know, I'm pissed off like we all have these houses that you are someone special to kill

spk_1:   33:16
for someone to do that. They're nuts.

spk_0:   33:18
They have to be crazy to say no. Your psychologists say nuts

spk_1:   33:22
I can create

spk_0:   33:23
because this is

spk_1:   33:23
Can I see a shrink?

spk_0:   33:24
You could say

spk_1:   33:25
shrink also. I like you. I like your goods. I call.

spk_0:   33:27
Yeah, this is awesome. What? Do you know how? Obviously you're not normal. Like I mean, no matter how much I mean, all of us have had stories of our helpers pissing us off of something.

spk_1:   33:39
He's pissing us off. For what

spk_0:   33:41
I could imagine. Even my boss pisses me off. Could you imagine? Like I go up and go off? I mean to go off. And of course, there's a lot of research about people that go off again. It's that for frustration. Palla rinses that this frustration and anger it's gets build up, build up. And then now, obviously people that work out a CrossFit or run, they're relieving some of it. So obviously these people that get to that point there doing nothing with it, they're just sitting with the anger. And I'm sure that there were other things going on. I can't imagine this helper did anything to deserve to die.

spk_1:   34:15
Yeah, no, I agree.

spk_0:   34:16
I mean, never

spk_1:   34:17
there. So I think it was a little bit more than frustration that killed, like Crazy had a legit mental issue to go and kill somebody

spk_0:   34:26
like, but it starts where it starts with frustration and anger and disappointment. Right? And then not that her. But what if it's sociopaths? You could say, of course. Obviously, we know that people that kill our sociopath Yeah,

spk_1:   34:39
but like, I mean, maybe there was no frustration. It's like, I wanna you know, I'm just gonna kill this person, and

spk_0:   34:45
I'm sure it led up. It let up to something

spk_1:   34:47
either way, regardless, like no one should be killed, like

spk_0:   34:51
right. And that's what it is is like talking about catharsis. Like if this Hey, lady or whoever the guy at the couple, right? I'm thinking, like, if you guys word that pissed off, then you should have just send her back. That's it. Take her to the agency and then why would you want to be able to torture her to the point where you you kill Harvey torture? I mean, they kill not another detail.

spk_1:   35:13
But you hear about it a lot. You here where you also hear about domestic like helpers and employees killing their employers,

spk_0:   35:20
of course,

spk_1:   35:21
because a and that's me tree man built

spk_0:   35:25
Or maybe craziness also

spk_1:   35:26
Maybe. I mean

spk_0:   35:28
I mean, it's two way, Um, of course, but there is no legit reason why someone would get to the point now if she would have addressed it. Talked about it either way, if the helper or the employer, if they would have just addressed what happened is a lot of times there are other things I'm sure going on in their life. It's either financial or some marital problems or their kid's problem. And then what they do is that they displace it on the easiest target, which happens to be the helper, the helper. We see them as less than us. We don't see them with having a lot of rights. And we tend to, you know, is the same thing as like, you're upset and then you go displace it on your dog because the dog doesn't talk, they can fight back or protect themselves. So we take advantage off the vulnerable Sze. Yeah, So this is the same situation

spk_1:   36:18
that makes sense. I mean, look what you're saying. I totally agree with I'm not saying I disagree with it. I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying that there is also merit to anecdote in my opinion too. Where and used to say this we have this argument class Thio There was displacement. It was in, um was in psych. Wanna want notes? I know social psycho social psychology was social psychology and shit. And I remember raising my hand saying Yeah, but when I punch a punching bag, I feel good and you're like that's displacing your anger and you gave me your teacher voice. That's right. And I was like, It is like All right, I'm just gonna shut up. Now

spk_0:   36:53
you will continue to do this place, and now you're venting some of the stress hormone worked for

spk_1:   37:00
May. But it works

spk_0:   37:02
for you always had anger issues so can have work. It is what I'm saying is people saying at work if we had anger,

spk_1:   37:09
if we say if we say post my brother passing away,

spk_0:   37:13
I saw your post.

spk_1:   37:14
Oh, yeah, you saw me post,

spk_0:   37:15
but he's still angry.

spk_1:   37:16
But before that, I always worked my issues out through sport through doing stuff like that and even after d j passing away after my brother dying, Yes, my emotions were different. It was because it was a different. It was a different realm. Like, that was something where, yes, I definitely needed someone to talk to about. And I needed to have professional help so that I could talk about my feelings because I was a 23 year old. I don't know what the hell's going on here like now. If that were to happen to me like I don't know if the same situation occurred now and my brother passed away and I'm 36 years old. I think I would deal with it in a much different way.

spk_0:   37:53
Well, that's because you also mature. Exactly. Yeah, and now you're a family man. Your father's. There's a lot of other complete, But think about it, even in class, when you were saying, Well, I punch a bag and I feel good But you didn't even when I met you, you still had a lot of angry issues, but still you're exercising or punching a bag that

spk_1:   38:12
was exercising and everything. But I wasn't exercising for that, if that makes any sense.

spk_0:   38:16
So you were. There were

spk_1:   38:17
times now where I know that I've had a bad day at work with. One thing that's gonna make me feel good is if I go to the gym and I work it out because that gives me that time to think and clear my head. It's me time. It's my time to think, clear my head, organize my thoughts, organized my emotions, and then I come back out of it about a person. Now here's the flip side. When I had a shitty comp in Bahrain, Yeah, CrossFit wasn't doing that for. See, I needed to talk to my coach for him to validate my hard work over the last year. And for him to tell me No, you're still really good. You just had a bad weekend before, needed. Before that, I'd work out in CrossFit. I'd be hating it. Yeah, I thought it sucked, right. What I put in for special I couldn't use I couldn't really divert my negative emotions and beat get into that state of catharsis because what had been working for me wasn't working anymore. Does that make sense? Yeah. So then when I had that conversation with him and everything after that turned into my outlet again. So I'm, you know, I'm very happy with things, but that's me. I'm different, doctor. He's giving me the look. She's like

spk_0:   39:27
people need to do whatever it makes them happy. And they know what works for the There's no way just because I'm a psychologist, I'm gonna come and say, Well, that works for you. Does if it works for you. I believe you. I'm just saying we have to be very careful not to avoid talking about it And using CrossFit or physical activity or punching the bag or shouting as a way off expressing our emotions. Not on Li Wei. I'm all for it. Black CNN today I was working out and then I was because of my situation yesterday I loved by trader cause he's like, Why psychologist? So I was like going on and on. And while you're working out, you really is like, well, you have a lot of energy. I feel like whenever I have a lot of emotion, anger or frustration and when I work out, it comes out more. I love it. I have a lot of, but the reason why I felt better after the session's not just because I worked out is because I was expressing to him while I was working out. For me, it was fine. So today I'm much better and I my mind is clear. And finally I realized I should just block this guy because I feel like I did to start like cleaning out people 2020. I want to clean people out with the resolution. That's it. I don't see

spk_1:   40:41
why post on Resolute

spk_0:   40:42
don't care about me. Oh, I'm

spk_1:   40:46
so four like look resolutions. We

spk_0:   40:49
lose it every day. Why should I need Thio? Exactly? People have been asking, and it's a marketing thing. It's like, you know, what do you think about resolution as they're thinking? First of all, I don't agree with it because what happens? Like people said, these resolutions are very high, like I'm never going to be angry this year for the hell's gonna say that, Look, even me with anger management techniques, I still cannot say that I I'll never scream at my kids things, people who did They set up these things for you, You know, instead of having setting up goals that are realistic for yourself and setting it short term. Why do people say the whole year I will eat right?

spk_1:   41:28
Why no elite, right?

spk_0:   41:30
Every day, every day, no matter if it's 2020 2028 doesn't

spk_1:   41:35
it? Honestly, like I think it was resolutions are New Year's was created in order to celebrate anything. Well, at first it was to celebrate the gods. You know, in Babylonian times I did my research, uh, read my post Babylonian. Yeah, e those here. I think it was to promise that like they wouldn't do what they did the previous year. Let the bad things okay. And then I think it's just a marketing ploy. I think it's marketing. I think it's where Salesman see

spk_0:   42:03
makes people more depressed. I mean, it's only been what Today's the force. You know, Jim, every saint people are saying to me, I feel so bad. I told myself January 1st I was going to quit smoking. I just broke down. Okay, so they're so it makes people feel bad because it makes people feel like if you have never tried to quit cigarettes, why are you putting deadline January 1st? Why don't you start thinking about ways that you gonna quit cigarette? How you're going to replace that habit? Patches may be many cases. Let

spk_1:   42:32
me give everybody out there my advice on quitting smoking, all Yeah, all honestly, in all of the successful people that I know who have quit were cold turkey,

spk_0:   42:42
actually better resources called area. And I think I'm going to smoke two cigarettes a day.

spk_1:   42:49
No, no, you have to think about it. It's a process. You think about it. I was thinking about quitting smoking for two years for two years I would think about it every time I saw my son and said, I don't want him wiping my ass when I'm 70 years old. Seriously, That was you

spk_0:   43:03
Smoke. You and D. J was born.

spk_1:   43:05
Yeah, I was. I quit when d j. Was was three. And the

spk_0:   43:09
tyranny everywhere you smoking, uh, never amount because you're scared of male heir in front of you. You were smoking for your mom. I've never seen you smoking, but even on campus, like I didn't see you can't remember corner. Oh, you really kind of respect with me. Didn't want me to see you smoking

spk_1:   43:28
a broker's. But what really got me those When d j said Daddy, what are they doing on? And that's when I was like, All right, I don't want to set this example for my son. So you know, that emotion gets stronger. The detachment from cigarettes was getting stronger. And it wasn't New Year's. It wasn't a patch wasn't a gum. It wasn't hypnosis. It wasn't any of that shit. I woke up every day like I usually do, poured my coffee, put a cigarette in my mouth, lit it up, and I didn't even inhale it all the way. I was like, This is fucking disgusting. I put it down and that was

spk_0:   44:06
it. That was That was it?

spk_1:   44:07
That was all she wrote,

spk_0:   44:08
I guess. What? You had a motivational factor. Exactly. So you know, somebody asked me. Excite also posted something. A resolution. New Year's a reason which I can't stand. And I said, I don't agree with it. And don't put something so you can feel like a failure. Like I would never say Like, I'm going to be 20 que no less this year. Why don't I just say I'll lose five kilo or so?

spk_1:   44:29
I don't just Why not? I just want to get healthier.

spk_0:   44:31
Yeah, me. So I really I never. So anyways, I was like And then I said it all require self discipline, and then this. You know, this person's like, how do you develop self discipline and really actually the first? So to quit smoking or to quit anything it requires self discipline. And you know what was your self discipline? Self discipline starts with motivation. You're hot to have a motivational factor with yours. Your your son was your motivational factor. Then you decided I'm never going to smoke this. So you you took a puff of it and then you put it away and you said this is discussed. So in order for us to develop self discipline, we got to do it slowly. You know small steps until it becomes a pattern or a habit. You know, it's like wanting to drink water every morning. You know, if you want to get your body used to drinking a glass of water as soon as you wake up, you drink every day and then it becomes like a habit, like a muscle. They have been used. And then now you're starting to use that every

spk_1:   45:28
No, it makes sense.

spk_0:   45:29
The ideas is that so people need to understand In order for you to make all these changes, you have to have self discipline. And the ideas is that and then you also have. So the other thing you probably did is that you realized you can't hang out with people that are smoking. And even if your friends continue to smoke is that you had

spk_1:   45:46
No I said I have. No, I have no problem.

spk_0:   45:48
No And then no. But you also had I'm sure you had a plan on. If someone offered your cigarette, you had what if kind of deal that someone would have done. But someone offered you a secret. You would do exactly what I said. I quit, and it's like you're ready.

spk_1:   46:03
Yeah, like I was just like, No, I quit.

spk_0:   46:05
If someone would have said to, You know, come on. Only one cigarette is not gonna hurt you. What do you do?

spk_1:   46:09
I'm good. I'm good, man.

spk_0:   46:11
And so how did you How did you deal with the peer pressure? Because, you know, peer pressure plays a part.

spk_1:   46:15
Honestly, it was

spk_0:   46:17
maybe you don't have a lot of friends who smoke.

spk_1:   46:18
You know, everyone at work smokes. My family members smoke everyone I know smokes and everyone's like, Well, does the smell bother? I was like, No, I was like,

spk_0:   46:26
Does it bother you?

spk_1:   46:27
No. No. I mean right now, like yeah, kind of does. Like, I hate being at the gym and someone walking in that reeks of cigarettes, because it's just like you're polluting the air around me. It's like, seriously and I hate funny. They're

spk_0:   46:41
playing. They smoke a cigarette just before they go into the gym. I know what it is.

spk_1:   46:46
No assholes that smoke around playgrounds drives me nuts. I don't want you smoking around. My

spk_0:   46:52
kids are like they're smoking around their own kiss. The other day I was driving, and this is the most disgusting thing I was driving and this guy had the window closed with his son in the middle. You know how sometimes primitive creatures that don't even put them in a seat? Bill? So the kid is like in between?

spk_1:   47:10
Oh, my

spk_0:   47:10
smoking a cigarette and the window is closed. What the hell? This kid is inhaling all this smoke, But please open the damn window, at least. And I was just like, looking at him. I was saying to myself, What should I say? Should I get my angry roots out, or should I just let it go? I was like, whatever. I heard you go to jail for this. What? It was like pissing me off here. You've got a kid almost in your lap and you've got a cigarette. In the other hand, that's ridiculous.

spk_1:   47:40
No, you're right. Look, for some people, though again, I am completely different. Maybe others need the patch maybe they need that

spk_0:   47:47
question. But you have self discipline thing. They rate self discipline. There are people with high self discipline low. And I think one of those people that when you put something in your mind, you tend to take it as a challenge and you achieve it. You're very competitive. Any

spk_1:   48:02
I tried. Oh, yeah. And I really Look, if you told me the world's gonna end in a week, I'm smoking a pack of cigarettes because it doesn't matter. I'm smoking a pack of cigarettes and I'm doing all the unhealthy things that I can think I haven't done for that I haven't allowed just because it's like, Yeah, sure, But some people, the same thing when we go back to catharsis and when we go back to, you know, displacing your emotions. For some people, they have that discipline like myself. Others they need hypnosis. Maybe they need the medication. Maybe they need these things. I see them as a crutch, like when my trainers like, oh, use the band to do pull ups. I never used a band of my life. You know where you put the band on your legs so it's easier to do it. Mike. Dude, it's a crutch. I don't want to get used to it. Yeah, because then all you're doing is you're replacing one bad habit with another. It's like these guys with the bait pens. They're like, Oh, baby, that's too. And I'm like, Dude, this has been around for, like, five years. You don't know what the hell's going in your body. Yeah, you, Jen. Actually, there are more and more research saying that they were You see all these cases that a lot of people dying from this weird, mysterious lung disease

spk_0:   49:07
That's right and it's because they haven't really done enough research. And we've allowed it. I just noticed, like, last month when I was taking the kids to school. That and I told my son and my son is like, Mom, can you imagine there's a Vape shop right across the street from their school like, you know what I mean? Like, I mean, I don't know. Maybe in the U. S. Don't in the U. S. Don't they have, like, a rule about what do you have around like the school area like, Can you really have a Vape shop right across the school, but here they do. And then I was thinking like high school. There's probably crossed the street and go get a Vape and buying it and using it. And so it's is so, so dangerous,

spk_1:   49:42
you know, you're in

spk_0:   49:43
and then some people in regards to catharsis. You know, The thing is, is that some people think that Oh, no, I need to smoke when I'm pissed off. Ah, this is not the way you express your emotions. Some people accused any excuses. They have negative emotions that I'm going to smoke, and that will really help me become calmer. And again I go back to my point is like, Doesn't really help you become calmer, is it? Just ban dating your negative emotions until something else triggers you.

spk_1:   50:10
So it's a crutch. I can agree with you on that. I could definitely agree with you on that. That is a crutch. And I think that's the best way to wrap this up. Like write that one to use crutch. Don't use a crutch to get around it, you know, and personally find something that works for you. You know, like there's

spk_0:   50:27
and for me, I mean, I'm not disagreeing totally with you. I'm just saying that there's an extra component that everyone should really your allies, anything. All right? I don't mind their belts. I think you need to exercise. Definitely. I mean, regardless you're venting enough until you have a stress or whatever it is, it's healthy for me. I feel like what really helps is that, like I said, when I work out and I'm venting to my trainer, he did this. He did that. I'm sure my trainers like, please, lady, just be quiet. So I was like, You know, and I But to me, I feel I mean, I don't know if you

spk_1:   50:57
feel you know that Don't you know trainers are probably replace shrinks At some point?

spk_0:   51:02
I mean, they well, the hairdresser's does,

spk_1:   51:04
But that's the thing. If you show someone to talk Thio during that like, yeah, look, I agree with you 100%. I think any way to remedy something is by having a well rounded, balanced

spk_0:   51:15
point. Truth. Truth is like losing weight. You can lose weight without exercise, healthy food diet, and it's a style of my right mind. Exactly flocking to professional. Yep, exactly so it's never one thing or the

spk_1:   51:27
other. So talk to your trainers on your strength. You should. You should give your trainer's a tip to go see the shrink so that they can learn something. Maybe take a few psychology quote. I swear to God, you know how many trainers I know coffee with their their cholesterol? Yeah, a lot of trainers will take their P tease out for coffee because there Petey just needs to talk and get it out.

spk_0:   51:50
It's too. It's

spk_1:   51:51
funny. You should see me, my trainer. It's business being Rob. We're talking about that today. And I was like, Dude, yeah, you know, I see you. It's just business. We very focused on what I want to do

spk_0:   52:02
it. Maybe this is a good thing. I don't know if I want to mix. I mean, when we're in the gym and I tell him my thing, but you don't. My coach and I would talk about a lot of things. Depends, Yeah, because it's like, already time money, and I know I can trust him, but I think I would not go for coffee, though I know.

spk_1:   52:16
So I know a lot of people like over coffee. I don't

spk_0:   52:18
want him. That's but I don't think boundaries

spk_1:   52:20
stop in the middle of their Petey and they'll just sit there and talk

spk_0:   52:24
for me. Boundaries are important.

spk_1:   52:26
But again, at least they're talking, right?

spk_0:   52:27
Yeah. At least they're talking.

spk_1:   52:29
And a lot of the trainers I spoke to were like, Yeah, you know, they have this issue. They have that issue. They're talking to me about their relationship with their boyfriends. Their parents

spk_0:   52:37
don't keep secrets. So that's the difference between trainers and psychologists. Wear sworn confidentiality, son, that never say my clients at this or that.

spk_1:   52:47
But a lot of the trainers that I've talked to and matched the way they were in the States that have that happen and a decent amount here, huh? Well, they're taking your job over. They are taking my

spk_0:   52:56
job. But we still beat you on confidentiality. That's true. That's true, huh?

spk_1:   53:01
You guys can be professors, too, so that's like, you

spk_0:   53:04
know, the other thing is that we can give advice and well qualified to give it That is so true. You

spk_1:   53:08
sure? Ladies and gentlemen, never take advice from a

spk_0:   53:11
trainer because it's always the wrong and Plus, they're not objective. I mean, there can't really be able to see it from the other side

spk_1:   53:19
and very egotistical. It's one thing I've noticed with a lot of training is that with the trainers and video, So we'll think about it. They have to shred it. Six pack they always want. Oh, I have a hint of selfishness to themselves.

spk_0:   53:31
Can you not be overweight and be a trainer?

spk_1:   53:33
You can be. I mean, some of the best, not trainers, I would say, like Olympic weightlifting coach is power lifting coaches. These guys are like in their forties fifties, and they've never had a six pack, especially power lifters. You know, they just they just lift a lot of heavy shit. But if you're going into your typical boutique jam or whatever year expecting the trainer to be ripped and you have this image may

spk_0:   53:58
which is true, actually, because when I go to a hairdresser or ah, nail technician, I'm always looking at her nail to see how good there. And also a dietitian, for example, I remember like this dietician. Sometimes I used to invite her to come to my class, talk about nutrition, and I could see, like some students would be judging her, even though she was really full of information and she was specialized in diabetes sexually. But I felt like because she wasn't really fit or thin or whatever. And I feel like, you know, sometimes people don't take you serious when you don't look right within your field, right? But the thing is, is that she was very knowledgeable. She helped a lot of patients that are diabetic.

spk_1:   54:36
That's true, and everyone's situation and circumstances different. However, if you're in the field, you know it's if you're in the field, then there

spk_0:   54:44
is and you want people to take you serious? Yeah,

spk_1:   54:46
there's an image you kind of have to represent. It's just part of the fitness industry. But to be fair, some of the best coaches aren't the best players or the best athletes. You know what I mean? Like, I've met a lot of baseball players where they weren't the best baseball player, but they were damn good coaches. Yes, Joe. And if you look at Major league baseball, I use that as an example, an NFL A lot of the average mediocre players become some of the best coaches and because they had to study the game a lot more and they just didn't have a genetic advantage in. A lot of trainers have a genetic advantage when it comes down to it. A lot of these guys have genetics, a lot of them. You steroids they use, you know, supplements so that they lose the way they keep their body fat percentage down. And look, media has screwed up like the image of the human body so badly, because we should not be sitting at 5% body fat, 4% body fat. It's actually unhealthy. And if you look at some of these women that are like 5% body fat, like they don't get periods for months like

spk_0:   55:50
it's not helping. But the thing is, is that pressure of like like some of these flashes does you and I, You

spk_1:   55:56
know, it's the pressure home I grind the cosmetic surgery. There's a dietitian that I know who had all the surgeries done, and she's, you know, she's selling her body as an image and it's like, Yeah, it's like Seriously, come on, everyone knows you don't get that body through dieting or through the eat the right eating habits. You just that

spk_0:   56:16
people believe her. Yeah, people are stupid. Let's say people

spk_1:   56:20
in masses come on. So it's like only people and masses air stupid. They're easily susceptible because as the group we gotta talk about that's an episode of That's true. But

spk_0:   56:29
all right, enjoy your catharsis.

spk_1:   56:32
Go quit smoking. Thanks for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed it, please head overto iTunes to subscribe rape and leave a review. You can also find us on Instagram at the project Kuwait. Thank you and join us next time.